Some people think that because some children find some subject such as mathematics and philosophy difficult, they ought to be optional instead of compulsory. To what extent do you agree?

Some scholars believe that because many kids
suffering
Wrong verb form
suffer
show examples
from some materials like mathematics and philosophy, they have to make these articles voluntarily for him .
Although
this
opinion has some logic,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
l think
these science
Change the determiner
this science
show examples
must
study
Wrong verb form
be studied
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
kindergarten.
To sum up
, some people argue that the article which requires much
think
Replace the word
thinking
show examples
because it is
complicates
Wrong verb form
complicated
show examples
should exclude from school,
others
Correct word choice
while others
show examples
have contrary views. I completely disagree with
this
view and l think
this materials
Change the determiner
this material
these materials
show examples
must
teach
Wrong verb form
be taught
show examples
at school because it is important for the future of children.
Submitted by mohammedelhassan811 on

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction and provide supporting arguments in separate body paragraphs.
task achievement
Use specific examples or evidence to make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
Improve the clarity of your ideas by avoiding general statements like 'some people argue' without explaining their reasons in detail.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear logical structure with distinct introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and transitional phrases to ensure your essay flows smoothly from one idea to another.
coherence cohesion
Provide more elaboration in the conclusion to summarize your main points effectively.
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt and provided your opinion on the issue.
coherence cohesion
The essay has both an introduction and a conclusion, which is a good practice.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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