Some people think that because some children find some subject such as mathematics and philosophy difficult, they ought to be optional instead of compulsory. To what extent do you agree?

#people #children #mathematics #philosophy

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Some scholars believe that because many kids

suffering

Wrong verb form

suffer

show examples

from some materials like mathematics and philosophy, they have to make these articles voluntarily for him .

Although

this

opinion has some logic,

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

l think

these science

Change the determiner

this science

show examples

must

study

Wrong verb form

be studied

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

kindergarten.

To sum up

, some people argue that the article which requires much

think

Replace the word

thinking

show examples

because it is

complicates

Wrong verb form

complicated

show examples

should exclude from school,

others

Correct word choice

while others

show examples

have contrary views. I completely disagree with

this

view and l think

this materials

Change the determiner

this material

these materials

show examples

must

teach

Wrong verb form

be taught

show examples

at school because it is important for the future of children.

Submitted by mohammedelhassan811 on Wed Jun 19 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction and provide supporting arguments in separate body paragraphs.

task achievement

Use specific examples or evidence to make your arguments stronger and more convincing.

task achievement

Improve the clarity of your ideas by avoiding general statements like 'some people argue' without explaining their reasons in detail.

coherence cohesion

Ensure your essay has a clear logical structure with distinct introduction, body, and conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Use linking words and transitional phrases to ensure your essay flows smoothly from one idea to another.

coherence cohesion

Provide more elaboration in the conclusion to summarize your main points effectively.

task achievement

You have addressed the prompt and provided your opinion on the issue.

coherence cohesion

The essay has both an introduction and a conclusion, which is a good practice.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

89 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
you have seen an advertisement from a couple who live in australia, for someone to teach their two children your language for a yar. writte a letter to the couple. in your letter explain why you think you would be suitable for the job say what else you could do for the family give your reasons for wanting the job
I am writing this letter to inform you that I saw the advertisement you posted in the job street application. I am interested in the position of teaching your two children to learn Spanish for a year since I'm currently in need of a job.
5.5
band
In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast transport for cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is generally believed that, a few individuals believe that lots of fund is needed to enhance the current public transport. While some others consider it’s better to allocate it to build new railway routes for fast trains connecting to other cities. In this essay, I will discuss both of these perspectives.
7
band
A lot of money is spent nowadays searching for oil. As the world's oil resources will eventually run out, it would be more logical to spend some of this money on developing new sources of power, such as wind and solar. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.
Oil is predominantly sourced from the deep seas in Saudi Arabia, Brunei, and certain regions in the United States. However, the uprising utilisation of oil has raised worries among the citizens as this product is a non-renewable source of energy. Interestingly, scientists all around the world have started collaborating synergies to develop an alternative power supply to keep up with the ongoing demand. Therefore, is it commendable for the government to allocate sufficient funds to the research and development (R&D) of newer vitality? In my opinion, the urgency of extra expenditure on creating new power is vital and indispensable.
5.5
band
More and more city workers are deciding to live in the country and travel into work every day. The result is increased traffic congestion and damage to the environment. What measures do you think could be taken to encourage people not to travel such long distances into work?
In these modern days, some individuals choose to live in the suburban and go to work by long distances every single day, resulting in traffic jam and produce more air pollution. In this essay, I will discuss the possible solutions to suggest people not to commute such long journey to work.
6.5
band
Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?
Due to the world consumerism trends the amount of domestic waste is significantly growing, which leads to negative consequences and environmental problems. There are several possible methods to tackle this issue, however, I do believe that the law of recycling is to be implemented by the government.

Some people think that because some children find some subject such as mathematics and philosophy difficult, they ought to be optional instead of compulsory. To what extent do you agree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast transport for cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

More and more city workers are deciding to live in the country and travel into work every day. The result is increased traffic congestion and damage to the environment. What measures do you think could be taken to encourage people not to travel such long distances into work?

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?