Due to development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries many small local business are unable to compete. some thought that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree??

#development #expansion #supermarkets #countries #business #thought #closure #death #communities

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Many people think that stores in many places are impacting the regional

shops

Use synonyms

, where they are

closing

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losing

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business because of the competition by these

super marts

Correct your spelling

supermarts

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. These shutdowns are

also

Linking Words

affecting the local neighbourhood. I

completly

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completely

agree with

this

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statement because local stores have a cultural identity, and

also

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impact less on the environment. The main reason

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show examples

agree with

statement

Correct article usage

the statement

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is that local businesses have a cultural identity which supermarkets cannot replicate.

This

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

shops

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in a community

have

Wrong verb form

having

show examples

a unique culture and traditions which are attributed to the people in

neighbourhood

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the neighbourhood

show examples

Whereas

Linking Words

, big corporations are large chain operations where there is no unique identity to associate with. As

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show examples

example take a look at big chain markets in the USA like Walmart,

Costco

Correct word choice

and Costco

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where the

shops

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are similar to each other in different localities and just identify with

brand

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the brand

a brand

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and not the people.

Secondly

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, another reason for my agreement is these big

convenience-stores

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convenience stores

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can have a huge impact on

environment

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the environment

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with

there

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their

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carbon emissions.

Additonally

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Additionally

these outlets throw out the

waste

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generated

in to

Join the words

into

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the landfills

effecting

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affecting

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the atmosphere.

Linking Words

However

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However,

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with the local

shops

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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garbage management is

effecient

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efficient

and generated less

comapared

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compared

to supermarkets, resulting in less environmental pollution.

For instance

Linking Words

, take a look at

waste

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produced by Walmart, which is estimated to be at 42% per year with food

waste

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and 23% with dry

waste

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To sum up

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, the points discussed which are environmental effects and lack of cultural

integartion

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integration

with big convenience stores in the country agree with the statement. There needs to be a certain number of large supermarts where

they

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

can be situated in city

centers

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centres

show examples

, which can encourage small businesses to grow in

there

Replace the word

their

show examples

locality.

Submitted by Devika on Wed Jun 19 2024

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task achievement

To achieve a higher score in task response, ensure that each main point is fully developed and supported with detailed examples. For instance, elaborate more on how small businesses contribute to community cohesion and provide specific instances of cultural impacts.

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, make sure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Use varied linking words and phrases to connect ideas more effectively. For instance, you could use phrases like 'Moreover,' 'In addition,' or 'Consequently,' to link your sentences and paragraphs better.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and variety of sentence structures to enhance overall readability. Review your use of articles and prepositions, and aim to vary your sentence lengths to maintain reader interest.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a solid framework for the reader.

task achievement

The main points are relevant to the topic and address the task prompt effectively.

task achievement

Your use of specific examples, such as Walmart and Costco, helps to illustrate your points more clearly and makes your argument more persuasive.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

economic impact
local economy
employment opportunities
social fabric
community hubs
social cohesion
cultural identity
cultural diversity
homogenization
consumer choice
environmental impact
carbon footprint
elaborate supply chains
supermarket dominance
local businesses closure

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The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agrée or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others beilieve that the purpose of the museums is to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Doctors, nurses and teachers make a great contribution to society and should be payed more than entertainment and sport celebrities. Do you agree or disagree?