Due to development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries many small local business are unable to compete. some thought that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree??

#development #expansion #supermarkets #countries #business #thought #closure #death #communities

Many people think that stores in many places are impacting the regional

shops

, where they are

closing

Correct your spelling

losing

show examples

business because of the competition by these

super marts

Correct your spelling

supermarts

show examples

. These shutdowns are

also

affecting the local neighbourhood. I

completly

Correct your spelling

completely

agree with

this

statement because local stores have a cultural identity, and

also

impact less on the environment. The main reason

Change the capitalization

show examples

agree with

statement

Correct article usage

the statement

show examples

is that local businesses have a cultural identity which supermarkets cannot replicate.

This

due to

shops

in a community

have

Wrong verb form

having

show examples

a unique culture and traditions which are attributed to the people in

neighbourhood

Add an article

the neighbourhood

show examples

Whereas

, big corporations are large chain operations where there is no unique identity to associate with. As

Change the article

show examples

example take a look at big chain markets in the USA like Walmart,

Costco

Correct word choice

and Costco

show examples

where the

shops

are similar to each other in different localities and just identify with

brand

Add an article

the brand

a brand

show examples

and not the people.

Secondly

, another reason for my agreement is these big

convenience-stores

Correct your spelling

convenience stores

show examples

can have a huge impact on

environment

Add an article

the environment

show examples

with

there

Correct your spelling

their

show examples

carbon emissions.

Additonally

Correct your spelling

Additionally

these outlets throw out the

waste

generated

in to

Join the words

into

show examples

the landfills

effecting

Correct your spelling

affecting

show examples

the atmosphere.

However

Add a comma

However,

show examples

with the local

shops

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

garbage management is

effecient

Correct your spelling

efficient

and generated less

comapared

Correct your spelling

compared

to supermarkets, resulting in less environmental pollution.

For instance

, take a look at

waste

produced by Walmart, which is estimated to be at 42% per year with food

waste

and 23% with dry

waste

To sum up

, the points discussed which are environmental effects and lack of cultural

integartion

Correct your spelling

integration

with big convenience stores in the country agree with the statement. There needs to be a certain number of large supermarts where

they

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

can be situated in city

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

, which can encourage small businesses to grow in

there

Replace the word

their

show examples

locality.

Submitted by Devika on Wed Jun 19 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

To achieve a higher score in task response, ensure that each main point is fully developed and supported with detailed examples. For instance, elaborate more on how small businesses contribute to community cohesion and provide specific instances of cultural impacts.

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, make sure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Use varied linking words and phrases to connect ideas more effectively. For instance, you could use phrases like 'Moreover,' 'In addition,' or 'Consequently,' to link your sentences and paragraphs better.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and variety of sentence structures to enhance overall readability. Review your use of articles and prepositions, and aim to vary your sentence lengths to maintain reader interest.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a solid framework for the reader.

task achievement

The main points are relevant to the topic and address the task prompt effectively.

task achievement

Your use of specific examples, such as Walmart and Costco, helps to illustrate your points more clearly and makes your argument more persuasive.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

285 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

economic impact
local economy
employment opportunities
social fabric
community hubs
social cohesion
cultural identity
cultural diversity
homogenization
consumer choice
environmental impact
carbon footprint
elaborate supply chains
supermarket dominance
local businesses closure

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Many people are busy with work and do not have enough time to spend with family and friends. Why does this happen? What are the effects of this on family life and society as a whole?
One thought of school holds that present day, most people becoming more and more involved with work leads to having less time to devote quality time to their relatives including family and friends. There are several reasons behind this trend and the influences on family life and society brought by this phenomenon.
7.5
band
Many countries spend a lot of money in art. Some people think investment in art is necessary, but others say money is better spent on improving health and education. Discuss both arguments and give your opinion
It is argued that while some people believe that investing in art is essential, others contend that government funds should be better allocated to health and education. In my opinion, while art contributes to cultural and societal enrichment, prioritizing health and education is more crucial for the overall well-being and progress of a nation.
7.5
band
Your local council has advertised for volunteers to teach on a basic English programme for refugees. You would like to do some work for this programme in your free time. Write a letter to the programme coordinator. In your letter • explain why you would like to do unpaid work on this programme • describe why you are a suitable candidate • say when you are available to teach.
I am reaching out to you regarding your advertisement posted in the local newspaper "The Hindu".
6.5
band
Some people like to try new things, for example, places to visit and types of food. Other people prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with. Discuss both these attitudes and give your opinion.
There are two opinions about being in maintenance conditions or trying new experiences. Some people, including me, are keen on trying things, for instance, places to visit and foods that are new, but others would rather keep doing things in a familiar manner.
6.5
band
An increasing number of larger shopping areas, malls and department stores are leading to the decline of smaller corner shops. what are the advantages and disadvantages of shopping in larger shopping centers rather than smaller, more traditional shops?
These days, shopping become important to meet our daily needs. So, many people think that it's better to buy items from the city mall than to purchase products from the cultural stores. This essay will discuss the pros and cons and will draw my personal conclusion.

Due to development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries many small local business are unable to compete. some thought that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree??

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many people are busy with work and do not have enough time to spend with family and friends. Why does this happen? What are the effects of this on family life and society as a whole?

Many countries spend a lot of money in art. Some people think investment in art is necessary, but others say money is better spent on improving health and education. Discuss both arguments and give your opinion

Some people like to try new things, for example, places to visit and types of food. Other people prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with. Discuss both these attitudes and give your opinion.

An increasing number of larger shopping areas, malls and department stores are leading to the decline of smaller corner shops. what are the advantages and disadvantages of shopping in larger shopping centers rather than smaller, more traditional shops?