IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe travelling in cars is good in cities while others argue bicycles are good while travelling in cities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Travelling is
one
Use synonyms
 of the undeniable activities in all
people
Use synonyms
’s life, especially those who are living
urban
Change preposition
in urban
show examples
 areas are willing to
use
Use synonyms
 private vehicles, whilst fewer of them are debating
to
Change the verb form
using
show examples
use
Use synonyms
bicycle
Correct article usage
a bicycle
show examples
 is
one
Use synonyms
 of the good
thing
Change to a plural noun
things
show examples
 for travelling in
cities
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of using
cars
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 statement is going to discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
views of
this
Linking Words
 statement. On the
one
Use synonyms
 hand, nowadays most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 like to migrate
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 urban areas
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 more job facilities
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
available
also
Linking Words
 most basic amenities
such
Linking Words
 as education,
hospitals
Correct word choice
and hospitals
show examples
 are situated in urban areas.
Thus
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
giving
Wrong verb form
give
show examples
 more prior to
stay
Wrong verb form
staying
show examples
 there.
Moreover
Linking Words
, most of them are using
cars
Use synonyms
 to
travel
Use synonyms
, because
car
Add an article
the car
a car
show examples
 can only
possible
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to
travel
Use synonyms
 some places inside the city
also
Linking Words
 it takes
few
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
time only to reach the destination. To illustrate, my country Mumbai is
one
Use synonyms
 of the biggest
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
show examples
,
there
Correct your spelling
where
show examples
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
cars
Use synonyms
 because they are working outside of the city and there they can’t
use
Use synonyms
 other transport because it takes
much
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
time to reach their destination
also
Linking Words
 public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 have more crowd during the peak hours.
Hence
Linking Words
, they are choosing
cars
Use synonyms
 to
travel
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
one
Change preposition
on one
show examples
 side of them are suggesting using
bicycles
Use synonyms
 to
travel
Use synonyms
 inside the
cities
Use synonyms
 are
giving
Verb problem
apply
show examples
beneficial to all.
However
Linking Words
,
bicycle
Add an article
the bicycle
a bicycle
show examples
 is
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
 mode
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 transportation, the person who
are using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
bicycles
Use synonyms
 their health will improve
also
Linking Words
 there no air pollution.
Additionally
Linking Words
, using
bicycles
Use synonyms
 to avoid
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic congestion in
cities
Use synonyms
 during peak hours.
To conclude
Linking Words
, from my perspective, using
bicycles
Use synonyms
 for travelling is
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
 option in
cities
Use synonyms
, simultaneously,
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
for people
show examples
 who want to
travel
Use synonyms
 long
distance
Fix the agreement mistake
distances
show examples
 that time car is the best option.
Hence
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 should change their attitude
for
Change preposition
about traveling
show examples
travel
Use synonyms
under
Change preposition
apply
show examples
short
distance
Fix the agreement mistake
distances
show examples
 they must
use
Use synonyms
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
show examples
.

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introduction conclusion present
Strengthen the introduction by clearly stating the purpose of the essay. Rephrasing the statement can help in making the intention clearer.
logical structure
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that sentences within the paragraphs flow logically from one to the next.
supported main points
Expand on some points with more detailed examples or real-life scenarios. This will help in making your arguments more compelling and relatable.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on the grammar and sentence structures for improved clarity and readability. This includes paying attention to subject-verb agreement and using more varied sentence structures.
complete response
The essay covers both sides of the argument, presenting views for both cars and bicycles.
relevant specific examples
Relevant examples were provided, particularly the example of Mumbai, which adds context to your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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