Some people believe travelling in cars is good in cities while others argue bicycles are good while travelling in cities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Travelling is
one
of the undeniable activities in all
people
’s life, especially those who are living
urban
Change preposition
in urban
show examples
areas are willing to
use
private vehicles, whilst fewer of them are debating
to
Change the verb form
using
show examples
use
bicycle
Correct article usage
a bicycle
show examples
is
one
of the good
thing
Change to a plural noun
things
show examples
for travelling in
cities
instead
of using
cars
.
This
statement is going to discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
views of
this
statement. On the
one
hand, nowadays most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
like to migrate
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
urban areas
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
more job facilities
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
available
also
most basic amenities
such
as education,
hospitals
Correct word choice
and hospitals
show examples
are situated in urban areas.
Thus
,
people
giving
Wrong verb form
give
show examples
more prior to
stay
Wrong verb form
staying
show examples
there.
Moreover
, most of them are using
cars
to
travel
, because
car
Add an article
the car
a car
show examples
can only
possible
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to
travel
some places inside the city
also
it takes
few
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
time only to reach the destination. To illustrate, my country Mumbai is
one
of the biggest
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
show examples
,
there
Correct your spelling
where
show examples
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
cars
because they are working outside of the city and there they can’t
use
other transport because it takes
much
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
time to reach their destination
also
public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
have more crowd during the peak hours.
Hence
, they are choosing
cars
to
travel
.
On the other hand
,
people
one
Change preposition
on one
show examples
side of them are suggesting using
bicycles
to
travel
inside the
cities
are
giving
Verb problem
apply
show examples
beneficial to all.
However
,
bicycle
Add an article
the bicycle
a bicycle
show examples
is
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
mode
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
transportation, the person who
are using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
bicycles
their health will improve
also
there no air pollution.
Additionally
, using
bicycles
to avoid
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic congestion in
cities
during peak hours.
To conclude
, from my perspective, using
bicycles
for travelling is
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
option in
cities
, simultaneously,
people
Change preposition
for people
show examples
who want to
travel
long
distance
Fix the agreement mistake
distances
show examples
that time car is the best option.
Hence
,
people
should change their attitude
for
Change preposition
about traveling
show examples
travel
under
Change preposition
apply
show examples
short
distance
Fix the agreement mistake
distances
show examples
they must
use
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
show examples
.
Submitted by smsundaram57 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Strengthen the introduction by clearly stating the purpose of the essay. Rephrasing the statement can help in making the intention clearer.
logical structure
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that sentences within the paragraphs flow logically from one to the next.
supported main points
Expand on some points with more detailed examples or real-life scenarios. This will help in making your arguments more compelling and relatable.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on the grammar and sentence structures for improved clarity and readability. This includes paying attention to subject-verb agreement and using more varied sentence structures.
complete response
The essay covers both sides of the argument, presenting views for both cars and bicycles.
relevant specific examples
Relevant examples were provided, particularly the example of Mumbai, which adds context to your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: