In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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These days, public debate has been going on over whether
the
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apply
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urbanisation is a good or a bad change. I tend to believe that the declining number of
people
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in
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countryside
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the countryside
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is
negative
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a negative
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development for the following reasons. There are two main factors
support
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that support
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the idea of
negative
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the negative
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development of
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countryside
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the countryside
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losing their society. The primary factor we need to take into consideration is that the smaller
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people
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the people
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in one place, the smaller
economic
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the economic
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improvement they can achieve. The financial stability in one
city
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depends on how many
people
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that
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apply
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can grow the market.
For instance
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, if some
city
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only has minor
society
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societies
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, so there will be a few shopping
centre
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centres
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and
factory
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factories
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that can produce money
to
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for
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government
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the government
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.
Besides
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that, a large movement into
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city
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the city
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will make the
remain
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remaining
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place
lost
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lose
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a
lot
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of young
people
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that very useful for the improvement of the place.
A young
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Young
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people
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will have a
lot
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of
idea
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ideas
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, a good
strength
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strengths
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, and can adapt
with
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to
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some technologies in
this
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era,
for
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example
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example,
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an old man
is
Verb problem
does
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not often
used
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use
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the internet and smartphone, so he will not get information instantly
that
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which
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will cause a delay
information
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in information
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that
be
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is
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useful for the
countryside
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. I admit that the distribution of some
people
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to
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city
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the city
show examples
has a positive side
especially
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, especially
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for the young
people
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who need to find
the
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apply
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work. We all
known
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know
show examples
that
,
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apply
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in some downtown is really hard to find
suitable
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a suitable
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job
especially
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, especially
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for
the
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apply
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young
people
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. Despite that, we all
known
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know
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that too that in
this
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era many
people
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can work in any area or you can call it “Work From Home” that
do
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does
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not push you to go from your home. In conclusion, I would argue that urbanisation has a
lot
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of negative sides to the left
countryside
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.
Accordingly
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, it would be generally advisable for the government to serve a
lot
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of
job
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jobs
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that
people
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in
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countryside
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the countryside
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need, so they do not have to go into
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city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
anymore.
Submitted by yoke.meiliadewayanti on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly and logically into the next. Use connectors and linking phrases to enhance the flow of ideas.
task achievement
In terms of task achievement, expand on your ideas and provide more detailed examples to support your points. Make sure your arguments are comprehensive and well-explained.
task achievement
Your main ideas need to be clearer. Focus on structuring each paragraph around a single central idea and develop it thoroughly instead of touching on multiple points vaguely.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, which helps in structuring the essay.
task achievement
You have made an effort to address the task by discussing both positive and negative sides of urbanisation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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