Some people believe that there should be a fixed punishment for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

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From the dawn of civilization, Punishing a criminal person has been a matter of debate. In
this
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respect, some experts argue that fixed
punshiment
Correct your spelling
punishment

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should be used
to
Change preposition
for

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every
crimes
Change to a singular noun
crime

The singular quantifier every is followed by the plural noun crimes. Consider changing the noun to the singular or using a different quantifier.

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,
while
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others believe that every case has its own case and there will be a different motivation or
comitment
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commitment

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for it. I am in favour of
former
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the former

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argument. On the one hand, when a society
admit
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admits

The plural verb admit does not appear to agree with the singular subject a society. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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a fixed punishment for criminals, it would lead to lesser discrimination against
indiviuals
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individuals

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and developing
to
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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a firmer legal system.
That
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is
Verb problem
apply

There may be a verb use issue here.

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mean
Replace the word
means

The word mean doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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,
for
Correct word choice
that for

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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violenece
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violence

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intentional acts
such
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as murder and brutality or all sorts of sexual abuses and robbery government authority
decide
Correct subject-verb agreement
decides

It seems that the verb decide does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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based on a firm regulatory approach.
For example
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, in a case of murder, if various
trial
Fix the agreement mistake
trials

It seems that trial may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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admit totally differently, it will lead to discrimination and chaos in
a
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun society in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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society.
Therefore
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, in
this
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situation criminal’s lawyer
advocate
Correct subject-verb agreement
advocates

It seems that the verb advocate does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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to
Remove the preposition
apply

The preposition to seems unecessary after the verb advocate. Consider removing the preposition.

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judgment by
a kindness trials
Correct the article-noun agreement
a kindness trial
kindness trials

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun trials in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

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.
On the other hand
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, if a person acts against the law there should be some coincidence.
In other words
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, some unhidden problems, which could
be arisen
Wrong verb form
arise

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb be arisen. Consider changing it.

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from its society or a
familly
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family

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may affect the criminal.
For instance
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, poor families across slum areas
due to
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lack of well-paid job opportunities or education may do unintentional criminal acts
such
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broglery
Change preposition
as broglery

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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and robbery.
Consequently
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, firm
decesions
Correct your spelling
decisions
decision

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may lead to
distrupt
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disrupt

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the whole future life of these groups,
whereas
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,
rehabilation
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rehabilitation

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centers
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centres

The spelling of centers is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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would
impactfuly
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impactful
impactfully

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change their
charecterstics
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characteristics

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and fill these gaps.
Therefore
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, in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
opinion,

It appears that you are missing a comma or two with the interrupter in my opinion. Consider adding the comma(s).

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legal systems and
jurry
Correct your spelling
jury

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firm
Fix the agreement mistake
firms

It seems that firm may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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should investigate
throughly
Correct your spelling
thoroughly

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to search for
a markers
Correct the article-noun agreement
markers
a marker

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun markers in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

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that influenced
on
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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these groups.
Moreover
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, by these
kindes
Correct your spelling
kinds

The word kindes doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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of
Add an article
the survey
a survey
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survey
Fix the agreement mistake
surveys

It seems that survey may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, the future of affected persons may be
gurrentided
Correct your spelling
guarantied

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.
To conclude
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, in order to charge a victim there are two
kindes
Correct your spelling
kinds

The word kindes doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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of
punshiments
Correct your spelling
punishments
punishment

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, which I firmly
believed
Wrong verb form
believe

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb believed. Consider changing it.

show examples
punshiment
Correct your spelling
punishment

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should be
differenet
Correct your spelling
different

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for various victims.

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task achievement
While the introduction is engaging, it contains some small inaccuracies. You should aim for a more refined opening sentence. For example: "From the dawn of civilization, the debate over how to punish criminals has been ongoing."
coherence cohesion
Try to use consistent and clear transitional phrases to improve flow between ideas. For instance, phrases like 'on one hand' and 'on the other hand' are good, but make sure they lead to clearly expressed contrasting points.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition of ideas and words. For instance, 'punishment should be different for various victims' is repetitive. A more concise and varied choice of words would enhance the quality of writing.
task achievement
The essay contains a clear introduction and provides arguments on both sides of the issue, making it balanced.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples have been provided to support the points made.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear conclusion that summarizes the writer's opinion, adding coherence to the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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