Some people believe that there should be a fixed punishment for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

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From the dawn of civilization, Punishing a criminal person has been a matter of debate. In

this

Linking Words

respect, some experts argue that fixed

punshiment

Correct your spelling

punishment

should be used

Change preposition

for

show examples

every

crimes

Change to a singular noun

crime

show examples

while

Linking Words

others believe that every case has its own case and there will be a different motivation or

comitment

Correct your spelling

commitment

for it. I am in favour of

former

Correct article usage

the former

show examples

argument. On the one hand, when a society

admit

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admits

show examples

a fixed punishment for criminals, it would lead to lesser discrimination against

indiviuals

Correct your spelling

individuals

and developing

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apply

show examples

a firmer legal system.

That

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Verb problem

apply

show examples

mean

Replace the word

means

show examples

for

Correct word choice

that for

show examples

violenece

Correct your spelling

violence

intentional acts

such

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as murder and brutality or all sorts of sexual abuses and robbery government authority

decide

Correct subject-verb agreement

decides

show examples

based on a firm regulatory approach.

For example

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, in a case of murder, if various

trial

Fix the agreement mistake

trials

show examples

admit totally differently, it will lead to discrimination and chaos in

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apply

show examples

society.

Therefore

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, in

this

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situation criminal’s lawyer

advocate

Correct subject-verb agreement

advocates

show examples

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

judgment by

a kindness trials

Correct the article-noun agreement

a kindness trial

kindness trials

show examples

On the other hand

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, if a person acts against the law there should be some coincidence.

In other words

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, some unhidden problems, which could

be arisen

Wrong verb form

arise

show examples

from its society or a

familly

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family

may affect the criminal.

For instance

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, poor families across slum areas

due to

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lack of well-paid job opportunities or education may do unintentional criminal acts

such

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broglery

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as broglery

show examples

and robbery.

Consequently

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, firm

decesions

Correct your spelling

decisions

decision

may lead to

distrupt

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disrupt

the whole future life of these groups,

whereas

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rehabilation

Correct your spelling

rehabilitation

centers

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centres

show examples

would

impactfuly

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impactful

impactfully

change their

charecterstics

Correct your spelling

characteristics

and fill these gaps.

Therefore

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, in my

opinion

Add the comma(s)

opinion,

show examples

legal systems and

jurry

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jury

firm

Fix the agreement mistake

firms

show examples

should investigate

throughly

Correct your spelling

thoroughly

to search for

a markers

Correct the article-noun agreement

markers

a marker

show examples

that influenced

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apply

show examples

these groups.

Moreover

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, by these

kindes

Correct your spelling

kinds

show examples

Add an article

the survey

a survey

show examples

survey

Fix the agreement mistake

surveys

show examples

, the future of affected persons may be

gurrentided

Correct your spelling

guarantied

To conclude

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, in order to charge a victim there are two

kindes

Correct your spelling

kinds

show examples

punshiments

Correct your spelling

punishments

punishment

, which I firmly

believed

Wrong verb form

believe

show examples

punshiment

Correct your spelling

punishment

should be

differenet

Correct your spelling

different

for various victims.

aradzandieh.dvmWed Jun 19 2024

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task achievement

While the introduction is engaging, it contains some small inaccuracies. You should aim for a more refined opening sentence. For example: "From the dawn of civilization, the debate over how to punish criminals has been ongoing."

coherence cohesion

Try to use consistent and clear transitional phrases to improve flow between ideas. For instance, phrases like 'on one hand' and 'on the other hand' are good, but make sure they lead to clearly expressed contrasting points.

coherence cohesion

Avoid repetition of ideas and words. For instance, 'punishment should be different for various victims' is repetitive. A more concise and varied choice of words would enhance the quality of writing.

task achievement

The essay contains a clear introduction and provides arguments on both sides of the issue, making it balanced.

task achievement

Relevant and specific examples have been provided to support the points made.

coherence cohesion

There is a clear conclusion that summarizes the writer's opinion, adding coherence to the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
42
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

299 words

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Include an introduction and conclusion

IELTS 17 Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people think that getting a degree from a university is the best way to secure a good job. Others believe that employers value work experience more than a university degree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Newspapers have immense influence on people. why? Is it a positive or negative situation?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Having police officers patrolling the streets is often considered an essential way to to reduce crime. How effective do you think police street patrolling are?. What other ways to reduce crime can you purpose?