In some countries children have very strict rules of behavior, in other countries they are allowed to do almost anything they want. To what extent should children follow rules?

Children

are the beautiful creation of god and parents are the gardeners. Their upbringing is enjoyable and challenging. They are like clay which requires mending and molding efficiently. Some people believe that they should be brought up under discipline and stringent

rules

and regulations

while

others think freedom should be given to them. The extent to which

children

have to follow

rules

is in itself a very complex issue

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since

children

across the world grow up in very different cultures. In my home country

for

Add the comma(s)

, for

show examples

example, the level of morality is very high and

children

have to be very submissive to their parents

as well as

other adults around them.

This

however

Add the comma(s)

, however

show examples

, is not the case in the western countries where

children

grow with enough liberty. I believe that following strict

rules

has both advantages

as well as

serious drawbacks.

Firstly

, strict

rules

behaviour

create responsible and respectful

children

who in turn mature into respectful adults.

This

forms a stable society which is virtually free from vices

such

as prostitution and drug abuse.

Secondly

, if

children

do not follow strict

rules

behaviour

, they will get out of hand and become workshy and indolent.

This

will

then

create a burden on society since the government has to find ways to cater for these social ills and crime.

However

, forcing

children

to follow strict

rules

behaviour

doesn’t always yield positive results.

Children

start showing erratic

behaviour

, disrespecting others and may work against society.

In addition

this

, strict

rules

destroy the individuality of a child. A child doesn’t blossom to its full personality. It may lead to

live

Change the verb form

living

show examples

a stressful life.

Overall

instead

of imposing,

children

should be guided by

rules

. Every human needs space to develop their own personality traits and to adopt an accepted behavioural pattern of their own.

Rules

should be a part of discipline but shouldn’t generate fear or

Remove the article

apply

show examples

erratic

behaviour

Submitted by smsundaram57 on Wed Jun 19 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your points. Mentioning particular cases or studies can make your arguments more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, maintaining a logical flow throughout the essay. Use cohesive devices like 'therefore', 'furthermore', 'in addition' more frequently.

coherence cohesion

The introduction effectively sets up the topic and presents both perspectives clearly.

task achievement

There is a clear and comprehensive response to the task, addressing both sides of the argument.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the arguments and gives a balanced viewpoint.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

317 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Directors and managers of organization are often older people. Some people say that it is better for younger people to be leaders. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
There is no denying the fact that manager levels are often elderly communities. While it is commonly held belief that it is better for young people to become leaders in organisations, there is also an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that young nations should have a chance to be at the managerial level.
7.5
band
Some say that it would be better if the majority of employees worked from home instead of travelling to a workplace every day. Do you think the advantages of working from home outweigh the disadvantages?
There is no denying the fact that these days, there are modern ways to work. While it is a commonly held belief that it would be better if the employees worked from their homes instead of travelling every day to their workplace, there is also an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that there are many benefits of working from home.
<4
band
Some people are very strict about their school uniforms and the apprearance of their pupils, while other schools have a relaxed dress cod
In this modern era, it is increasingly common in most universities that students can wear dress as per their comfort zone. Some schools are extremely strict about their uniforms, and they want children to follow them. In this essay, I will explain the merits and demerits.
5
band
3)Although countries with long average working hours are economically successful, this often has some negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is increasing debate on whether longer duration of work is truly beneficial. While some believe that this model should continue on as it has shown to benefit a country's economic status, others, along with myself, diasgree with this sentiment as it can have negative effects on the physical and mental wellbeing of those in the workforce.
5.5
band
In many countries, truancy* is a worrying problem for both parents and educators. •What are the causes of truancy, and what may be the effects on the child and the wider community? •* truancy = the situation when a child pretends to go to school but in fact goes somewhere else, for example to play unsupervised. The verb is 'to play truant from school.'
Truancy is a significant concern for parents and tutors in several nations. The main problems this cause is harassment and finding the social stress from the classmates and the aftereffects would be bad behaviour of the child.

In some countries children have very strict rules of behavior, in other countries they are allowed to do almost anything they want. To what extent should children follow rules?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Directors and managers of organization are often older people. Some people say that it is better for younger people to be leaders. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some say that it would be better if the majority of employees worked from home instead of travelling to a workplace every day. Do you think the advantages of working from home outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people are very strict about their school uniforms and the apprearance of their pupils, while other schools have a relaxed dress cod

3)Although countries with long average working hours are economically successful, this often has some negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?