Some people think the government should spend more money on sport facilities for top athletes. Other people think the government should spend more money on sport facilities for everybody. Discuss both views
There has been a fierce debate in the community
whether
the national budget should be allocated to advance Change preposition
about whether
sports
amenities for elite sportsmen or for the ordinary. This
essay aims to evaluate both
assertions before concluding that such
enhanced sports
facilities
would be better equipped for both
groups rather than prioritizing any specific figure.
On the one hand, athletes
in top
class receive Correct article usage
the top
sports
facilities
from government
assistance, thereby emerging various merits. In fact, most renowned athletes
represent a particular nation to compete with rivals from other regions in several international sports
games. Therefore
, investing top-notch
Change preposition
in top-notch
sports
infrastructures is conducive to maximize
the quality of training environments for sportsmen, spurring prestigious victories which not only boost reputationWrong verb form
maximising
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
their whole country. A prime example is Anh Vien, a prominent Vietnamese swimmer, used
to win many medals in global contests, Correct pronoun usage
who used
thus
enhancing Vietnam’s international status in the arena and captivating tourists and sports
fanatics to travel to Vietnam, which triggers a
rapid economic growth.
Correct article usage
apply
Conversely
, enhancing sports
amenities should be supplied by government
subsidy
for ordinary citizens. It is explicit that not only do Fix the agreement mistake
subsidies
athletes
necessitate these supports, but the ordinary as well. Owing to the fact that if ordinary people do not do exercises
, a medical burden on society will appear Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
due to
health diseases like obesity. By facilitating better-equipped public sports
facilities
, the authorities could stimulate the number of residents engaging in physical activities, thus
replacing an increasingly prevalent sedentary lifestyle by
an active one resulting in Change preposition
with
a
physical well-being among the community. Remove the article
apply
Hence
, the government
should strike a balance between professional players and ordinary people to foster a sense of equality in both
groups.
In conclusion, I wholeheartedly believe that it would be better if the national supply for
Change preposition
of
sport
amenities Change the noun form
sports
divides
into Wrong verb form
were divided
both
groups encompassing top athletes
and the ordinary. In view of the values which those players bring about and the importance of citizens’ health, the balance in financial support of the government
for sports
facilities
plays a crucial role.Submitted by reemaljuaidi8 on
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task achievement
Consider elaborating a bit more on your examples and explanations to deepen your arguments and make them more convincing.
coherence cohesion
There are a few awkward phrasings and grammatical errors that can interrupt the flow. Reviewing your essay for grammar and syntax refinement can enhance clarity.
task achievement
The introduction effectively outlines both sides of the debate and sets up the discussion well.
coherence cohesion
You have a logical structure in your essay with clear paragraphs addressing each point of view.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples to support your points, which adds strength to your arguments.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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