In some countries owning a home rather renting one is very important for people Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation? In many nations, homeownership is considered to be of great significance. This essay discusses the reasons for this and why I believe it brings merits.

In many
nations
Add a comma
nations,
show examples
homeownership is often considered to be of great significance.
This
situation may be attributed to several reasons. Personally, I believe that it is a negative situation. In
this
essay, I will discuss why
this
trend
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
dominated society.
Firstly
, the cost of living, especially housing, has significantly increased recently, so
people
are
concerend
Correct your spelling
concerned
about providing finances for housing. Actually, temporary houses need a huge amount of money.
Thus
, individuals prefer to purchase a house.
Moreover
, replacing their
home
every year is an exhausting task, and
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
a lot of expenses.
For instance
, you have to pay extra money for replacing your
home
furniture and new
contraction
Replace the word
contract
show examples
between you and your
landloard
Correct your spelling
landlord
.
Accordingly
, citizens try to buy their own
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
.
Furthermore
, recently,
capitalistic
Add an article
the capitalistic
a capitalistic
show examples
attitude has dominated the world, leading to most
people
pursue
Wrong verb form
pursuing
show examples
materialistic goals in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
;
therefore
, residents are infatuated with
worldy
Correct your spelling
worldly
properties, including possessing a permanent house. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
this
trend is a negative condition. One solution is for governments to address the inflation, and provide
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
for all residents at reasonable prices so that all
people
be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
able to afford the cost of housing.
In addition
,
people
should not be
intrested
Correct your spelling
interested
in worldly goods excessively. They should pay attention to other aspects of their lives,
such
as love, poverty, and
philantropy
Correct your spelling
philanthropy
.
To conclude
, in some
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
being an ownership is of paramount importance.
It
Correct pronoun usage
There
show examples
may
have
Verb problem
be
show examples
several reasons that
mentioned
Add a missing verb
are mentioned
show examples
above. In my view,
this
is a bad situation
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and should be tackled.
Submitted by fatemeh1994bahrami on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While the main points are addressed, the essay could be clearer in making its case against homeownership. The argument about the negative impacts of this trend should be more thoroughly developed and elaborated with specific examples.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, work on the seamless transition between points. For instance, the essay can better integrate examples and connect ideas with more transitional phrases.
coherence cohesion
For better logical structure, ensure every paragraph directly supports your main argument against homeownership and includes clear topic sentences. Additionally, address counterarguments to provide a balanced perspective.
introduction conclusion present
The essay does well to clearly state its purpose in the introduction and provides a conclusion that summarizes the main points.
relevant specific examples
The essay incorporates specific examples, such as the high cost of temporary housing and the effort involved in frequently moving homes.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: