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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows the percentage of the population and the types of houses they live in 3 areas of a city. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the percentage of the population and the types of houses they live in 3 areas of a city. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#percentage #population #houses #areas #city #information #features #comparisons
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The table illustrates the proportion of different kinds of housing that people live in three areas.
Overall
Linking Words
, detached housing is the most popular in
Central
Correct article usage
the Central
show examples
area
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
flats
Use synonyms
 or
apartments
Use synonyms
 are the most dominant in
Green
Correct article usage
the Green
show examples
 Park
area
Use synonyms
 with terraced housing most chosen by those who live in
Correct article usage
the Southberg
show examples
Southberg
Correct your spelling
Southern
area
Use synonyms
.
Central
Add an article
The central
show examples
area
Use synonyms
 has the largest
population
Use synonyms
, followed by
Correct article usage
the Southberg
show examples
Southberg
Correct your spelling
Southern
 and Green Park
Use synonyms
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
. Starting with the
area
Use synonyms
 whose
population
Use synonyms
 is over 32000,
central
Correct article usage
the central
show examples
area
Use synonyms
, which has
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 of 32100, has the largest share of detached housing with 39%. Semi-detached housing is
also
Linking Words
 more popular with 28% than terraced and
flats
Use synonyms
 and
apartments
Use synonyms
 with 18%and 15%, respectively.
In contrast
Linking Words
, in
Correct article usage
the Southberg
show examples
Southberg
Correct your spelling
Southern
area
Use synonyms
 with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
population
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 32000, the rate of terraced housing is almost double
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that of
flats
Use synonyms
 and
apartments
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 56% and 25%, respectively. Detached housing and semi-detached housing,
however
Linking Words
, are far less common
with14
Correct your spelling
with 14
% and 5%, respectively. Turning to
Green
Correct article usage
the Green
show examples
 Park
area
Use synonyms
, where the
population
Use synonyms
 is the lowest at 31700, by far the largest proportion of people live in
flats
Use synonyms
 or
apartments
Use synonyms
 with 76% with only 14% living in terraced housing.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the least popular styles of housing
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 semi-detached and detached housing both with 5%.
Submitted by mizuho on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words area, flats, apartments, population with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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