Some people think the government should spend more money on sport facilities for top athletes. Other people think the government should spend more money on sport facilities for everybody. Discuss both views
Nowadays, gyms are becoming an essential thing to contain a quality
life style
. So, some people think that the country must put a huge budget for public gyms, Correct your spelling
lifestyle
while
others believe that the money should only be for professional's
gyms.
On the one hand, using Change noun form
professional
the
government dollars to improve the top players would be a great investment for the whole country and its people. Correct article usage
apply
For example
, building a supportive working out area for only experienced bodybuilders is going to encourage them to improve and participate in global competations
which will play an important part Correct your spelling
competitions
competition
to
the Change preposition
in
country’s
and Make those athletes appear as Change noun form
country
a role models
for the whole citizens.
Correct the article-noun agreement
a role model
role models
On the other hand
, the public need
a good facility to exercise in and have a chance to take care of their bodies in a good place. To illustrate, they have a busy daily routine where they spend most of their time sitting down on their desktops, With Change the verb form
needs
that long hours
of Change the determiner
that long hour
those long hours
Add an article
the unactive
an unactive
unactive
situation they must have a Correct your spelling
inactive
well-structered
Correct your spelling
well-structured
exercising
Replace the word
exercise
area
provided Correct your spelling
are
from
the government.
Change preposition
by
Additionally
, they face a huge amount of strugles
each day Correct your spelling
struggles
especially
with the fast-paced working life we are Add the comma(s)
, especially
that
in today. They need a way to control Correct determiner usage
apply
the
stress and Change the word
their
anxiaty
. Correct your spelling
anxiety
For instance
, if the employee had a long and stressed
day in his job and didn’t have the chance to free that stress he won’t work Replace the word
stressful
good
the next day and that will lead to lower his productivity and mental health. That proves clearly that a person will Change the adjective
well
product
more when he or she has a healthy lifestyle that the country can help with.
Replace the word
produce
To sum up
, after a careful analysis of both perspectives. I believe that the governent
should Correct your spelling
government
firstly
provide a good places
to help everyone to work out. and Correct the article-noun agreement
a good place
good places
then
take care to
the high-level players. Since the public Change preposition
of
need
more Change the verb form
needs
phyisical improvments
than anybody else.Correct your spelling
physical improvements
Submitted by sarah.a.aljuaid on
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coherence cohesion
Revise grammatical errors and improve sentence structure for greater clarity.
task achievement
Develop ideas more comprehensively with relevant examples and elaborate explanations.
coherence cohesion
Structure your essay with clear topic sentences and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.
coherence cohesion
Be consistent with the tense and improve the usage of transitional phrases for a smoother flow.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both perspectives on whether the government should spend money on sports facilities for top athletes or for everybody.
task achievement
The writer attempts to provide reasons and examples to support their points, contributing to the overall argument.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, aiding the reader in understanding the writer’s stance.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.