Many developed countries are giving financial aid to poor countries. However, this hasn’t solved the problem of poverty in these nations and so other types of help are needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?
A lot of wealthy
coutries
are trying to help the Correct your spelling
countries
countries
in need by giving them monetary aids
, but Fix the agreement mistake
aid
this
has not stoping
them from being poor, Verb problem
stopped
instead
they are asking for different kinds of help. I must say that I completely agree with Add a comma
instead,
this
statement, and I will let you know the reasons in the next paragraphs.
Undoubtedly the
poverty is a matter that must concern all the governments around the worldCorrect article usage
apply
,
because a common goal is the welfare of all people. Nowadays no one should have uncovered any basic need, as an illustration, all children must be attending school, having proper meals and a safe home. But Remove the comma
apply
that is
not the reality. And as an attempt to help the more developed countries
decided to bring financial aids
. Sadly we can often see that Fix the agreement mistake
aid
this
money sometimes does not get to reach those who really need it the most, but stays in the hands of the ones that
asked for it.
Correct pronoun usage
who
Therefore
the poverty rate must decrease year after year, however
we can Add a comma
however,
frecuently
observe that these developing Correct your spelling
frequently
countries
seems
not to have Change the verb form
seem
a
significant growth, nor an increase Remove the article
apply
of
the Change preposition
in
well being
of their population. Maybe Add a hyphen
well-being
this
is caused by the high corruption rates, as shown at
a study conducted at the University of Madrid, which revealed that the poorest Change preposition
in
contries
are the ones more affected by corruption. Correct your spelling
countries
On the other hand
is commonly believed that the
developed Correct article usage
apply
countries
should keep sending money and taking responsability
Correct your spelling
responsibility
of
the problems of the not developed nations.
In conclusion, from my Change preposition
for
perspective
I believe that even though Add a comma
perspective,
the
monetary aid is a great gesture and Correct article usage
apply
a
honest way of trying to help the nations less developed, Change the article
an
the
poverty is a subject that goes beyond the money itself, and has its roots in Correct article usage
apply
the
ignorance and blind ambition of the governments of these Correct article usage
apply
countries
.Submitted by otiyog on
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grammar
Ensure to proofread your essay to avoid minor grammatical errors and spelling mistakes, such as 'frecuently' instead of 'frequently'.
task response
While your arguments are clear, they can be better supported with more detailed examples.
coherence cohesion
Organize your paragraphs more logically, ensuring each one focuses on a single clear idea to improve coherence.
task response
Your introduction effectively states your position and previews the reasons you will discuss.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a clear effort to connect your ideas logically and maintain a consistent argument.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion succinctly reiterates your position and ties your points together well.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.