IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Financial funding is a way for how developed
countries
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such
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 as The US and The UK to help underdeveloped
nations
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.
However
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, some people suggest that rich
nations
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 should come up with other measures to solve
poverty
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. I definitely agree with the statement.
Firstly
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, it's understandable that the
economy
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 is the most important pillar for
countries
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 and helping the poor by giving financial
aid
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 will be beneficial.
Additionally
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,
nations
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 must have strong financial fundamentals to meet the needs of society and financial
aid
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 will help the
economy
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 of the poorer
countries
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.
For example
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, The United Kingdom offered some money to the Republic of Somalia in the late 19's. The purpose was to help the
economy
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 in Somalia which was experiencing setbacks with high inflation and creating
poverty
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. Correspondingly. it was proven that in less than 5 years, the
economy
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 of Somalia witnessed better than ever. Financial
aid
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 is considered the most important measure to help poorer
countries
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 to rise from
poverty
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.
On the other hand
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, some people suggest that rich
nations
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 should come up with other measures of
aid
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such
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 as medical intervention and education to develop human resources in the poorer
countries
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 rather than financial funds.
Furthermore
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, the level of human resources in terms of health and education in poorer
countries
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 should be improved with support from developed
countries
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 in order to rise from
poverty
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.
For instance
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, Australia offers a scholarship, namely the Australia Award Scholarship, which allows students from any citizenship around the world to study at some well-known universities in Australia. It is an example of how a rich country provides educational support to other
countries
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, especially to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
underdeveloped
nations
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. I agree that money given to poorer
countries
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 is not the only way to solve
poverty
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,
although
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 financial
fundamentasl
Correct your spelling
fundamentals
 are important, it is evidence that lower economic condition is not the only problem faced by underdeveloped
countries
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.
However
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, developing human resources must be considered as the major factor to rise from the
poverty
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 of poorer
nations
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. In conclusion,
Although
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 funds from developed
countries
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 have played a vital role in development.
However
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, another form of help in terms of education and medical intervention has benefited the country a long way.

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task achievement
Clarify the main points in your argument. At times, your essay veers off-topic slightly. Stay focused on whether financial aid alone can solve poverty or if other measures are necessary.
coherence cohesion
Be careful with grammatical errors and punctuation issues, which slightly impact the clarity. Proofreading your essay before submission can help. For instance, 'Correspondingly. it was proven...' should be 'Correspondingly, it was proven...'.
task achievement
Your introduction provides a clear stance on the issue, which is good. The reader understands your position from the outset.
task achievement
You use relevant examples to support your points, such as aid from the UK to Somalia and Australia's scholarship program.
coherence cohesion
There is an evident introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your essay well.
coherence cohesion
The points flow logically for the most part, making it easy to follow the argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic inequality
  • developing nations
  • foreign aid
  • sustainable growth
  • technical assistance
  • expertise
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • fair trade
  • trade barriers
  • sustainable development
  • environmental conservation
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