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Band 4.5

We live in a world in which we are constantly exposed to advertising. To what extent does advertising influence our choices as consumers, and what effect does it have on our lifestyles? Discuss the issue and give your opinion.

#world #influence #choices #consumers #effect #lifestyles
In our modern and constantly developing world, advertising and especially online marketing have become a popular topic for discussion. People all over the globe use the web daily and in one or another
way
 are
exposued
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exposed
 to some
commectial
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commercial
maretials
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materials
. In my opinion, advertising influences the choice of a consumer a lot and it might even lead to changes in one's lifestyle.
Firstly
, I believe the
hurmful
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harmful
hurtful
affect
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effect
show examples
 of marketing has a correlation with the
way
 a product
being
Wrong verb form
is
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 promoted.
For example
,
this
 includes frequency, the content itself and
influencers
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the influencers
show examples
 that are involved.
Advertisment
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Advertisement
that is
 not shown to consumers too often, following all the necessary
requlations
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regulations
 and being appropriate in
gerenal
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general
, will not result in effecting anyone's lifestyle and won't pressure a consumer to make a final decision.
However
, some types of
advers
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adverse
adverts
 like social media ones, do not have any time limits and might influence online user's
choice
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choices
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 in a negative
way
.
This
 may
inforce
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enforce
force
 people and especially
valnurable
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vulnerable
 groups like teens and
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the eldery
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eldery
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elderly
 to overconsume, which can lead to
an
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apply
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uncontrolled
spent
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spending
show examples
 of their budgets. Customers should follow the
advise
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advice
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 only of
the
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apply
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trusted influencers and celebrities and make sure those, in turn, are not being paid for any promotional material on their social media platforms. In conclusion, I believe nowadays, marketing has become
way
 more developed and advertisers tend to use techniques that sometimes involve even psychology.
That is
 why each
a
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apply
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person should be responsible
of
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for
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 the content he or she consumes,
as well as
 whom to trust online.
Submitted by anapoliakovaa on

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grammar vocabulary
Avoid minor spelling and grammatical errors by proofreading your work. For example, 'commectial' should be 'commercial' and 'advertisment' should be 'advertisement'.
grammar vocabulary
Some sentences are awkwardly phrased. Try to use simpler structures to clearly express your ideas.
task response
Provide more specific examples to support your points. Instead of general statements, use particular scenarios or studies to strengthen your argument.
task response
The essay clearly addresses both aspects of the question: the influence of advertising on consumer choices and its effect on lifestyles.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a good structure to the essay.
coherence cohesion
The main points are relevant to the topic and logically structured.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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