Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree?

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Most

community

Change to a plural noun

communities

show examples

prefer to spend their free

time

Use synonyms

, watching

Use synonyms

shows or movies.

This

Linking Words

behaviour is generating a change in society, making it lazier and more unsocial.

This

Linking Words

essay agrees with the statement provided above.

People

Use synonyms

try to be happy, and in order to increase that feeling we need to generate a hormone called “Dopamine”, which is generated by practising sports, enjoying natural environments or watching

Use synonyms

. Most of society would choose to watch

Use synonyms

rather than other options as it is easier and the outcome can be felt instantly.

As a consequence

Linking Words

, the demand for

Use synonyms

shows has been increasing over the

last

Linking Words

decades. On top of that,

people

Use synonyms

get lost in their

Use synonyms

shows, losing

time

Use synonyms

notion, resulting in a significant drop in social relationships.

To begin

Linking Words

with, ¿Why are

Use synonyms

shows becoming more and more popular? As we mentioned before,

people

Use synonyms

need to feel happy,

this

Linking Words

feeling can be achieved by releasing a hormone called “Dopamine”. Our body can generate “Dopamine” as a response to many activities,

however

Linking Words

, one of the easier ones

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is watching

Use synonyms

As a result

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

are replacing crucial

exercise

Fix the agreement mistake

exercises

show examples

such

Linking Words

as going to the gym, hiking and trekking, by watching

Use synonyms

in order to obtain the same feelings as before, but in an easier way.

For instance

Linking Words

, in the U.S., during the

last

Linking Words

decades, we have been noticing a drop in gym memberships and assistance, and at the same

time

Use synonyms

, we have been seeing a rise in streaming and

Use synonyms

platform subscriptions.

On the other hand

Linking Words

community

Correct article usage

the community

show examples

get lost in their

Use synonyms

shows, and most of them cannot even notice the passing of

time

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

conclusion, we have

people

Use synonyms

becoming addicted and preferring to spend their nights at home watching movies

than

Rephrase

rather than

show examples

actually interacting with other society.

For example

Linking Words

, in my personal case, when I was younger I was always trying to make plans and activities during the weekend,

however

Linking Words

now, I am waiting for the weekend to see my favourite

Use synonyms

show, and

as a consequence

Linking Words

, my interaction with other human beings has decreased.

To conclude

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

essay agrees with the statement expressed above, as

population

Correct article usage

the population

show examples

prefer to get “Dopamine” by watching

Use synonyms

shows and movies over practising other activities, and, since

Use synonyms

shows have been becoming more popular, social interaction dropped significantly.

tomasmutilva99Thu Jun 20 2024

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task achievement

To earn a higher score in task response, make sure that your examples are broader and tied directly to your arguments. Currently, examples such as the one about your personal experience are too specific and may not fully support your arguments effectively.

coherence cohesion

Improve coherence by tightening the connection between your arguments and examples. Transitions are generally fluid, but some paragraphs need stronger introductory sentences to guide the reader through the structure of your response.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction effectively sets up the topic and presents a clear thesis statement summarizing your position.

logical structure

You have a logical structure to your essay, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The flow of ideas is mostly clear.

relevant specific examples

You have used specific examples to support your arguments. The examples are mostly relevant but could be tied more closely to your main points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

6.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

6.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

383 words

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Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?

Some people feel that the private lives of celebrities should not be openly shared by the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some countries achieve international sports by building specialize facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many workplaces, online communication is now more than face-to-face meeting. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages