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Band 5

Some people think that exer is the key to health, while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important

#people #exer #health #diet
In the contemporary era, health is a basis for every
activities
Change to a singular noun
activity
show examples
,from individuals to society,
become
Fix the infinitive
to become
show examples
 more effective. Some social members believe that working out will lead to being healthy ,
on the other hand
,there are others presuming that owning a well-rounded eating plan is more essential to our
body
 . In my own opinion, I agree with the former and the latter as exercising and having a balanced diet can bring us unexpected advances
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 our
body
 On the one hand , exercise plays a key role in improving
humans'
Fix the agreement mistake
human'
show examples
 health . As long as citizens accomplish it , they are supposed to maintain a healthy lifestyle. It helps residents'
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
 always
in
Add a missing verb
be in
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
shap
Correct your spelling
shape
sharp
.
This
 issue could be
done
Verb problem
solved
show examples
 by doing sports and regular exercising .
For example
, most athletes in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of their routine
practises
Change the verb form
practise
show examples
 usually have strong fit bodies which help them to greatly
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 a task
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 having a certain useful diet is expected to constantly put one's health at a lower risk of several
illness
Change to a plural noun
illnesses
show examples
, exclusively cardiovascular diseases. Not only does a normal
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 eating habit
contains
Correct subject-verb agreement
contain
show examples
 low fats and
carbonhydrates
Correct your spelling
carbohydrates
 but it
also
consist
Change the verb form
consists
show examples
 of high fibres and proteins . These are indispensable substances for our cells
To sum up
, nowadays some dwellers have the idea that daily routine workouts have
extremely
Change the word
extreme
show examples
 advantages,
whereas
 some others consider a healthy nutrition plan as a more significant criterion for our safety.
However
, I believe that both of them are vital to our
body
 in order to keep fit Minh
Submitted by midden-02.tore on

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task achievement
Try to expand on your main points with more specific examples or data to illustrate your arguments effectively.
task achievement
Ensure you address both sides of the argument clearly and thoroughly in order to show a balanced analysis.
language use
Double-check your essay for any grammatical or typographical errors. This can make your writing clearer and more professional.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction is clear and outlines both perspectives well, which sets a good foundation for the essay.
logical structure
The essay has a good logical flow and the paragraphs are well-organized, which helps in maintaining coherence.
supported main points
Both exercise and diet are discussed with appropriate points, showing an understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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