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Band 6.5

Caring for children is very important for our society. Therefore all mother's and father's should take a child care training course. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #society #mother #father #child #care #course
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is how some new families prepare their own knowledge about child care.
Parents
 should look after children at an early stage of life. I hardly agree position, because when
people
 take a course of care, they are able to solve some problems without any barriers. In
this
 essay, I am going to analyse the subject in detail and support it with my own experience. Out of all the arguments, the strongest one to prove my view is the potential implantation of any training courses for newly become
parents
.
This
 is to say the government or any social structure can provide free training. A good example of
this
 is how the Australian government offered beneficial social assistance for all new families.
In particular
, provided good discounts for visiting museums, libraries and whole other institutions with children, which makes clear contact between
parents
 and children. The other reason to prove my point is sometimes
parents
 are afraid of a new status and there are different types of training available because society predicted
this
 for
people
.
In addition
, the fact that
people
 need help solving problems is
also
 logical.
On the contrary
, some
people
 counterclaim the mentioned support. The foremost argument they make is that a man and a woman must learn everything themselves without the help of any courses. In conclusion, after analyzing the subject in detail, I would like to highlight that before becoming
parents
, young couples could take courses to increase their self-confidence.
Moreover
, the government must support and promote
this
 site of society.
Submitted by vladislavikonnikov112 on

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task achievement
The essay addresses the topic and presents a clear viewpoint, but it could benefit from further development of ideas to make the argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
The essay generally follows a coherent structure, but there are some areas where the flow of information can be improved for better clarity and logical progression.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples or data to support the main points, as this would strengthen the argument and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states the writer's position and outlines the main points to be discussed in the essay.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces the writer's viewpoint.
logical structure
The essay uses appropriate linking words and phrases to connect ideas, which helps in maintaining a cohesive structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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