Some people think that exercise is key to health, while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important Discuss both view and give your opinion

In the modern era,
health
is often considered thorough. There are conflicting views about
exercise
and a balanced
diet
.
While
people
prefer to choose a well-round eating habit, I would argue that doing
exercise
can help many
people
to obtain the perfect
health
. On the one hand, there are two reasons that you need to do
exercise
if you want to be healthy.
Firstly
, doing
exercise
is the most common way that
people
can choose to improve their
health
because you can do it at home or at the gym.
Furthermore
, you can change the
exercise
to level up your working out to be suitable
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
the bodies of each individual.
Secondly
, doing
exercise
can improve sleep when the muscles are active enough, the brain will consider it and send the signal to the body that it needs sleep to regenerate the muscles and you will get better sleep. And when you have better sleep you can make your mood better
On the other hand
,many
people
believe that a balanced
diet
will bring many benefits. Because it is a bit expensive to follow a
true
Change the adjective
truly
show examples
balanced
diet
some
people
can not afford it. Sometimes choosing a balanced
diet
is so complex that some even do not know anything about the nutrients. In conclusion,
diet
still has benefits
although
doing
exercise
and eating junk food at the same time can bring negative effects. In my view, choosing
exercise
is the basic way to improve
health
rather than a balanced
diet
.
Submitted by midden-02.tore on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While the essay addresses the topic and presents arguments for both exercise and balanced diets, the conclusion could be stronger by summarizing the main points more succinctly and clearly conveying your stance.
task achievement
Ensure that the arguments for a balanced diet are fully developed and provide specific examples or evidence to support your points. This strengthens the argument and balances both sides discussed.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical structure by making sure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Using transitional phrases can help maintain the flow of the discussion.
coherence cohesion
The essay should have a better introduction and conclusion. Clearly state the topic and your stance at the beginning, and succinctly summarize the main points and your opinion at the end.
task achievement
Develop your main points with more supporting details and examples. For instance, when discussing the benefits of exercise, you could mention specific health benefits such as cardiovascular health, weight management, and mental well-being.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views on the topic, showcasing an understanding of different perspectives.
task achievement
The argument in favor of exercise includes multiple points, showing an effort to present a comprehensive view.
coherence cohesion
You demonstrate a good understanding of sentence structure and vocabulary, making your essay readable and engaging.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cardiovascular health
  • Metabolism
  • Chronic diseases
  • Immune system
  • Mental well-being
  • Nutrients
  • Malnutrition
  • Obesity
  • Type 2 diabetes
  • Circulation
  • Nutrient distribution
  • Preventive health
  • Energy levels
  • Balanced diet
  • Essential nutrients
What to do next:
Look at other essays: