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Band 5

Government investment in the visual arts, the kind you commonly see in art galleries, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#government #investment #arts #art #galleries #waste #money #governments #services
I don't think visual
art
 is a waste of money, it is part of the government's urban construction arrangements for the beautification of the urban environment. First of all, the most important point of visual
art
 for urban beautification is that it can cover the most dilapidated places of a
city
, optimize the already beautiful places, and raise the
overall
 image of the
city
, so as to enable residents to enjoy urban life more and live in the
city
 safely and comfortably.
Secondly
, good visual
art
 can improve the artistic atmosphere of the whole
city
, cultivate children's artistic aesthetic imperceptibly, and let people feel the influence of culture. It's part of the
city
's culture. Good visual arts can make a
city
 look new and vibrant.
Finally
, good visual
art
 can make the local scenery more unique and attract more people to travel, which increases the tourism income of the
city
 and promotes the economic development of the
city
. It can be seen that visual
art
 is not a waste of money for the
city
, but can improve the
city
's environment, culture and economy to a large extent.
Submitted by inspirenteach on

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task achievement
Your essay covers the topic and provides a clear stance on the importance of visual arts. However, ensure that your arguments are thoroughly developed and supported with specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a stronger introduction and conclusion. These sections help frame your argument and guide the reader through your points.
task achievement
You have provided a clear argument in support of visual arts and its impact on urban beautification, culture, and economy.
coherence cohesion
The essay flows well and the main points are supported adequately.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural heritage
  • Tourist attraction
  • Generates revenue
  • Mental well-being
  • Social cohesion
  • Societal development
  • Quality of life
  • Economic stability
  • Budget constraints
  • Unemployment services
  • Emergency response infrastructure
  • Balanced approach
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