Some people believe that youngsters should be required to have full-time education until they are at least 18 years old. What extent do you agree or disagree ?
It 
is argue
 that having Change the verb form
is argued
a
 Change the article
an
education
 full Use synonyms
time
 should be a requirement for young people until they are at least 18 years old. I totally agree with Use synonyms
this
 statement and in Linking Words
this
 Linking Words
essay
 I will give you the main reasons why the principal goal of youngsters should be Add a comma
essay,
education
. 
 
One of the reasons why children should Use synonyms
be focus
 on Change the verb form
be focused
be focusing
school
 is because is their future. They need Use synonyms
a good scores
 in elementary, middle Correct the article-noun agreement
a good score
good scores
school
 and high Use synonyms
school
 in order to go to college. The university requirements are hard, Use synonyms
therefore
 only a small percentage of student applications are accepted. Linking Words
For instance
, students have to attend extracurricular classes Linking Words
such
 as Linking Words
sport
, language Fix the agreement mistake
sports
program
 or art to achieve extra Fix the agreement mistake
programs
point
 in their Fix the agreement mistake
points
curriculm
 for college. 
Another reason I agree with the Correct your spelling
curriculum
full 
Add a hyphen
full-time
time
 Use synonyms
education
 for juveniles is that they don't need distractions Use synonyms
such
 as Linking Words
part job 
Replace the word
part-time
time
 or other extracurricular Use synonyms
activity
. They only have one Fix the agreement mistake
activities
Correct your spelling
responsibility
responsability
, Correct your spelling
responsibility
Correct pronoun usage
which is
is
 Correct pronoun usage
which is
Fix the infinitive
to go
go
 to Fix the infinitive
to go
school
, if they have Use synonyms
distraccions
 they will have low Correct your spelling
distractions
Correct pronoun usage
apply
their 
scores in classes or quit Correct pronoun usage
apply
Change preposition
apply
to 
Change preposition
apply
school
. A clear example of Use synonyms
this
 is that in Linking Words
USA
 16 years Correct article usage
the USA
old
 Correct your spelling
16-year-old
teeneagers
 are able to have a Correct your spelling
teenagers
part 
Add a hyphen
part-time
time
 job in stores or fast food restaurants, Use synonyms
Linking Words
However
 they cannot Add a comma
However,
with 
the Change preposition
apply
school
 projects and Use synonyms
job
. Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
Therefore
 a large proportion of learners quit Linking Words
school
 before they finish college. 
In conclusion, people believe that a requirement for juveniles less than 18 years old should be Use synonyms
have
 a full-Fix the infinitive
to have
time
 Use synonyms
education
. In my opinion, I agree with Use synonyms
this
 statement because young people should Linking Words
be focus
 on their studies in order to have a career in the future and is Change the verb form
be focused
be focusing
they
 only Correct pronoun usage
their
responsability
.Correct your spelling
responsibility
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clear comprehensive ideas
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relevant specific examples
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complete response
Try to address potential counterarguments. This will show a more thorough understanding of the topic and make your essay more well-rounded.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and a conclusion that summarizes the main points, which enhances readability and coherence.
logical structure
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relevant specific examples
The examples, although needing more detail, are relevant to the points being made and support the argument.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
 - secondly
 - thirdly
 - in additional
 - moreover
 - also
 - for example
 - for instance
 - therefore
 - however
 - although
 - even though
 - despite