Nowadays, men’s sport is given far more attention in society than women’s sports. What are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative situation?

It is not uncommon to see people discussing
sports
events
at any gathering. In fact, it is probably the most discussed topic in any country.
However
, when it comes to
women
's
sports
, we do not see the same level of enthusiasm in people as we do in
men
's
sports
. Historically,
men
have been taking part in
sports
events
and there was no involvement of
women
in
sports
.
Although
things have changed in the
last
few decades and there are many
women
's
sports
at national and international levels
women
's
sports
do not get similar attention as
men
's
sports
. Let's delve into the reasons for the same. One of the main reasons why
women
's
sports
are not celebrated on the same scale as
men
's
sports
is that there is very little viewership of
women
's
sports
by
women
. Most
men
prefer to watch
men
's
sports
because they can relate to the players and they know the
personality
Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
show examples
of these players.
However
,
women
do not tend to watch
sports
and
that is
the major reason why
women
's
sports
do not have the same amount of support from sponsors. The other reason for
women
's
sports
to be lacking behind
men
's
sports
is awareness. There are many people who are not aware of the
women
's
sports
team. A little bit of awareness can really make a difference in popularising
women
's
sports
. I think
this
is a negative thing and should be addressed by making
women
's
sports
more accessible to the public. We
also
need to encourage
women
and younger generations to celebrate
women
's
sports
. By making
women
's
sports
events
accessible to the general public it will be much easier to take
this
further
and make
women
's
sports
as big as
men
's
sports
events
.
Submitted by maneetgiri1 on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples or case studies to strengthen your arguments. Mentioning specific events, teams, or statistics can make your essay more persuasive and credible.
coherence cohesion
Try to employ more topic sentences at the beginning of your paragraphs to clearly signal the main idea of each paragraph. This will help to guide the reader and improve the logical structure.
general advice
Ensure to proofread your work to correct minor grammatical errors and awkward phrases. This will improve the overall clarity of your writing.
task achievement
You clearly addressed the issue and proposed a logical solution by suggesting ways to increase awareness and viewership of women's sports.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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