In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes? What are the solutions?

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There is a growing trend of consuming
prohibit
Wrong verb form
prohibited
show examples
products among sportsmen
while
important games. As a
cause
Add a comma
cause,
show examples
it might be from getting an award and becoming a winner whilst the best solution will be
public
Add an article
a public
show examples
apology. In
this
competitive
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
of ways how to win
Change preposition
over other
show examples
other
Change preposition
over other
show examples
candidates in
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
,
presicely
Correct your spelling
especially
in
Correct your spelling
Olympic
show examples
Olimpic
Correct your spelling
Olympic
show examples
games. Banned
substance
Fix the agreement mistake
substances such
show examples
as
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
doping
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
well-known by sportsmen.
This
is used
for boosting
Change preposition
to boost
show examples
athletes and be the first in a competition.
For example
,
regarding
Verb problem
according
show examples
to statistics 30 percent of individuals who took
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first place in
Olimpic
Correct article usage
the Olimpic
show examples
competition in 2012 restricted
substance
Fix the agreement mistake
substances
show examples
was been
Verb problem
apply
show examples
in their blood. Receiving forgiveness from own nation is may be tackled
this
Change preposition
by this
show examples
cause. As
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
participants perform
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
motherland globally they are responsible
to be
Change preposition
for being
show examples
highly honest in front of all countries.
Consequently
, if someone breaks the law he will ask public apology from
own
Correct pronoun usage
his own
show examples
habitants because
this
country will gain
bad
Add an article
a bad
show examples
reputation.
For example
, concerning
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
national statistics of
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
all lawbreakers who
asked
Verb problem
say
show examples
sorry
from
Change preposition
to
show examples
audience
Add an article
the audience
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
recover
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
respect and can pursue their performance next
years
Fix the agreement mistake
year
show examples
. Having weighed everything mentioned up, it can come to a conclusion that in order to win many
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
participants gain
such
blocked product
however
these actions lead to
loosing
Replace the word
losing
show examples
respecters and asking
apology
Change preposition
for apology
show examples
from all humanity around the world, at least own country.
Submitted by zhadyra.almuratova on

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task response
Ensure to elaborate more on the causes and solutions. While the essay touches on the reasons and provides one solution, adding further depth and examples would strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Further improve the logical flow between ideas and paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a clear topic sentence followed by supporting sentences. This can enhance readability and coherence.
general advice
Work on grammar and spelling. Avoid minor errors to make your writing appear more polished. More accurate sentence structures and vocabulary use will improve clarity.
general advice
Include varied and advanced vocabulary to make the essay more engaging and demonstrate language proficiency. This can also improve the overall coherence and task response.
task response
The essay attempts to address both causes and solutions, which are the key points the prompt is asking for.
coherence cohesion
The writer uses relevant and contemporary examples which help to illustrate the points being made.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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