IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people go through life doing work that they hate or have no talent for. Why does this happen? What are the consequences

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The majority of
people
Use synonyms
 spend their lives doing jobs they dislike or are not designed for.
This
Linking Words
 essay will furnish the reasons why
this
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 is so and will
also
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 illustrate the consequences thereof. Individuals indulge in jobs they hate and are not talented
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 mainly because some did not have an opportunity to get the necessary education maybe because of
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of finances.
However
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, others join family businesses because they want to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
please their parents and
therefore
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, forfeit fulfilling their heart’s desires.
Further
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, some homes have family businesses or companies and these have been passed from generation to generation. Moreso, some
people
Use synonyms
 find it difficult to break the clan's chain and are obliged to
work
Use synonyms
 for the family company.
Furthermore
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, in a home where they own a law firm,
for example
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, Johnson and Johnson Law Chambers, all the Johnson children end up studying law, leading, and taking over from where their parents left off. The major results for
people
Use synonyms
 who do not
fullfil
Correct your spelling
fulfil
 their heart’s desires in life are mainly
frustrated
Replace the word
frustration
show examples
 and depression.
People
Use synonyms
 need to understand that they spend most of their lives at
work
Use synonyms
 and so, they need to do the kind of job they
loveand
Correct your spelling
love and
 are talented at.
Further
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,
work
Use synonyms
 is enjoyable the most, if done out of willingness and passion.
Furthermore
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, if a job is done with all of one’s heart, the results are always the best and
more
Rephrase
most
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 profitable for all. If one is frustrated about their employment, they just do it out of duty
instead
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 of doing it out of love.
For example
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, a son joined a home business
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and worked in his family company in Toronto. Because he did not have passion for the task, he would sometimes miss
work
Use synonyms
 and was always negligent with patients. One day, he almost killed a child because he gave them
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
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 medication because his heart was not in it.
Hence
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, it is vital for one to do the job they love. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
 should go through life doing jobs that they adore
are
Correct word choice
and are
show examples
 trained for.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 others indulge in
work
Use synonyms
 to make their mother and father happy and thereby, end up being frustrated themselves and not
fullfiling
Correct your spelling
fulfilling
 their heart's desires.

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language usage
There are some minor grammatical mistakes and typographical errors. For instance, phrases like 'they want to be please' should be 'they want to please' and 'loveand' should be 'love and'.
task achievement
Try to expand on the conclusion. Though it wraps up the essay nicely, reiterating the main points can add more strength to the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between paragraphs; ensure that each paragraph smoothly transitions into the next. Using transition words or phrases can help with this.
introduction
The introduction is clear, setting out what the essay will discuss in a straightforward manner.
examples
Specific examples, like the family business scenario in Toronto, add authenticity and strength to the arguments presented.
task completion
The essay addresses both parts of the task by explaining why people end up in undesirable jobs and the consequences of this situation.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • career counseling
  • financial constraints
  • societal norms
  • familial pressures
  • fear of uncertainty
  • financial instability
  • diverse job opportunities
  • early specialization
  • job satisfaction
  • professional fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • career transition
  • passion-driven career choices
  • vocational aptitude
  • occupational stress
What to do next:
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