Some people believe that part time job can ensure better job opportunities in future. Others think job can easily distract students from study. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is commonly acknowledged that the rate of getting a
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
time
Use synonyms
job
is decreasing in modern society. Some people assert that Use synonyms
Use synonyms
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
time
Use synonyms
job
provides better chances Use synonyms
to
individuals in the future. Change preposition
for
Otherwise
, others believe that concerning about occupation cause several Linking Words
disadvatages
to students when they study in their academic year. Correct your spelling
disadvantages
This
essay will explore Linking Words
the
both aspects deeply before a conclusion is drawn.
First of all, the advocates who think Remove the article
apply
Use synonyms
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
time
Use synonyms
job
can protect their being employed period deem that doing their Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
Use synonyms
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
time
can ensure their career Use synonyms
consistantly
. In Correct your spelling
consistently
addtion
, filling a Correct your spelling
addition
Use synonyms
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
time
vacancy is easy when they need their Use synonyms
work
to live. Working for certain hours is more convenient than working all day. Use synonyms
This
Linking Words
society
phenomenon makes individuals not Replace the word
societal
to
worry about their profession. Fix the infinitive
apply
Therefore
, they can pay attention to their own interest Linking Words
such
as academic development, entertainment and Linking Words
relationship
with friends. If they want to Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
work
somewhere, they can get a Use synonyms
job
by being a Use synonyms
Use synonyms
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
time
employee. They Use synonyms
also
disagree with having Linking Words
Correct article usage
a full
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
time
Use synonyms
job
, because it Use synonyms
cause
Change the verb form
causes
borden
to their Correct your spelling
boredom
work
easily.
On the other Use synonyms
hands
, the opponents Fix the agreement mistake
hand
who
believe having Correct pronoun usage
apply
Correct article usage
a full
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
time
Use synonyms
job
leads to them Use synonyms
feel
comfortable. If they have secure Wrong verb form
feeling
Use synonyms
job
without concern about being fired, they can focus Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
their
study and life well. They just need to have their daily routine and do well on their today's Change preposition
on their
work
. There is no annoying distraction Use synonyms
such
as pressure to Linking Words
getting
Wrong verb form
get
Use synonyms
job
or seeking their Add an article
a job
the job
work
.
In conclusion, I think on balance that getting a Use synonyms
Use synonyms
part
Correct your spelling
part-time
job
is much harder than having a own professional Use synonyms
work
. Thinking about what to do for my future is Use synonyms
essential
Add an article
an essential
part
Use synonyms
in
my life, it Change preposition
of
also
Linking Words
spends
a lot of Verb problem
takes
time
. Use synonyms
However
, looking for Linking Words
new
Correct article usage
a new
Use synonyms
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
time
Use synonyms
job
might Use synonyms
spend much
Verb problem
take a long
time
Use synonyms
finding
it properly. It can Change the verb form
to find
mass
up my concentration Correct your spelling
mess
while
I am a student.Linking Words
Submitted by jeong9962 on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses both views of the topic but could benefit from clearer examples and supporting details. Make sure you are not only stating opinions but providing relevant evidence to back them up.
task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are clearly conveyed. Some sentences are slightly unclear and may confuse readers. Use simpler constructions if necessary to make your point.
coherence cohesion
Try to arrange your arguments more logically. Each paragraph should ideally represent a single, coherent idea that flows naturally and logically from one to the next. This will make your arguments stronger and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion presents your opinion, but it would be stronger if you briefly summarized the key points made in the essay. This reinforces the argument you are making.
task achievement
Work on incorporating more relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points. This will help to make your arguments more persuasive and concrete.
task achievement
You have adequately covered both perspectives, fulfilling the basic requirement of the task.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a basic structure to your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are identifiable and show that you understand different viewpoints on the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.