IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

As a country develops, people tend to buy more cars. Do the advantages for the individual outweigh the disadvantages for the environment?

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As a nation grows, more individuals tend to buy motor cars.
Although
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this
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 is beneficial for those who purchase
vehicles
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due to
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 the saved travel time and increased convenience, I believe that the drawbacks in terms of environmental
pollution
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 and resource depletion are far greater. The main advantage of individuals purchasing
vehicles
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 is their convenience.
Traveling
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Travelling
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 by public transport can be frustrating
due to
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 the crowds
,
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apply
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while
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 owning a car is safer and more reliable.
For instance
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, Japan, a hub for motor
vehicles
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, has a high rate of car ownership.
This
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 contributes to its development, as people save travel time, arrive at work on time, and are able to focus more on their jobs.
However
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, I believe that
this
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 convenience can
also
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 lead to increased traffic congestion.
On the other hand
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, the disadvantage is that more cars significantly pollute the environment. The increasing number of motor
vehicles
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 leads to both air and noise
pollution
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.
For example
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, in developing countries, road infrastructure is often not advanced enough to handle the growing number of
vehicles
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, resulting in severe air and noise
pollution
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.
In addition
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, the depletion of resources
such
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 as petrol and diesel is a serious problem for both the nation and the environment. I’m of the opinion that the growing number of cars poses too many disadvantages for the environment. In conclusion,
although
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 owning a car might be convenient and time-saving for individuals, the resulting environmental
pollution
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 and resource depletion are serious issues that must be considered first. For these reasons, the negatives far outweigh the positives.

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task achievement
Great job responding to all aspects of the task! Consider providing more varied and specific examples to fully support your argument.
coherence cohesion
While you have a well-structured essay, ensure that all points are fully developed and that examples are directly tied to the main arguments for enhanced clarity.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of ideas is strong and the essay is well-organized.
task achievement
The ideas presented are comprehensive and directly address the task.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon footprint
  • Sustainability
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Fossil fuels
  • Commuting
  • Urban sprawl
  • Ecological impact
  • Economic stimulation
  • Public transportation infrastructure
  • Renewable energy
  • Air quality
  • Environmental degradation
  • Alternative transportation
  • Car dependency
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