Nowadays shop have extended opening hours almost everyday of the week in many countries. Is it a positive or negative development for shoppers and local communities?

Physical sales
hall
Fix the agreement mistake
halls
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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always been a better alternative for more sustainable shopping with fewer fraudulent activities.
However
, in recent times,
business
owners have increased their period of buying and selling on a daily basis in different nations.
This
essay will discuss two main reasons it is an indisputable progress both for customers and merchants. It gives more
time
to those who are willing to patronise the product. In times past, many shopping
mall
Change to a plural noun
malls
show examples
closed their
business
at a specific
time
of the day probably because of the notion that their product
were
Change the verb form
was
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only useful to citizens during the
daytimetime
Correct your spelling
daytime time
and that it was only reasonable to shut the
business
arena in order to cut costs of operation,
however
, many individuals who need the product may decide to visit the market much later in the day, prolonging the
business
hour
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
the customers more
time
to attend to their own private life rather than rushing out to meet up the closing
time
of
such
shops.
For example
, in a survey carried out on customer satisfaction in a designer outlet warehouse, the majority of the buyers verbalized happiness with their ability to visit on the weekend after the management considered opening the shop on Saturday and Sunday. On the side of the management, it busted sales and profit levels. Having extended the period of transaction to weekends, more customers will be able to do
business
with the organization with the possibility of scaling above other competitors which could be either physical or online businesses which in turn increased sales and return on investment.
For example
, the designer outlet mentioned above, announces more than 100% in their profit margin because of an increase in the number of her clients.
To conclude
, extension to the
time
during
business
is a good phenomenon which will not only satisfy clients but
also
grow the profit of the organization
Submitted by tunjosh2 on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will help illustrate your arguments more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure grammatical accuracy to improve clarity. For instance, 'It busted sales and profit levels' should be 'It boosts sales and profit levels.'
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are quite long and could be made clearer by separating them into shorter, more concise sentences.
task achievement
You have clearly presented both sides of the argument, making the essay balanced and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both well-structured, providing a good frame for your essay.
coherence cohesion
You have used well-organized paragraphs, each dealing with a single idea, which makes your argument easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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