Task 2 It is important for people to take risk, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risk outweigh the disadvantages ?
It
is believe
that taking Change the verb form
is believed
risk
is an essential thing for every human being, both in their professional and their personal Fix the agreement mistake
risks
lives
. Personally, it seems to me that taking risk
is a must for Fix the agreement mistake
risks
individual
which could contribute Add an article
the individual
an individual
more
positive impact on their Add an article
a more
lives
.
On the one hand, taking risk
means how to learn to be an independent figure. Every single day in our Fix the agreement mistake
risks
lives
, we have to face so many adversities and challenges which could strain our mentality. As
example, a manager in a Change preposition
For
start up
company who Add a hyphen
start-up
forced
to take faster responsibility Add a missing verb
is forced
of
any issue relating to its position, Change preposition
for
it
will not have longer or even enough time to ask any opinion of its Correct pronoun usage
apply
surrounding
. Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings
Instead
waiting
and wasting time to hear many Change preposition
of waiting
differences
opinion, it Replace the word
different
have
to take a better and wiser way as it thinks as the best path to fix its problems. Meanwhile, by taking Change the verb form
has
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
value
as a wiser and Wrong verb form
valued
independent
person will Correct quantifier usage
more independent
earned
.
Change the verb form
earn
be earned
On the other hand
, whether as professional
or in Correct article usage
a professional
personal
Correct pronoun usage
our personal
lives
, taking Fix the agreement mistake
life
risk
will boost our self to improve our confidence. One of the simplest Fix the agreement mistake
risks
example
is when a fresh graduate student Change to a plural noun
examples
face
two options, either it Change the verb form
faces
have
to directly Change the verb form
has
apply
a job or Add the preposition
apply for
continuing
its study. Wrong verb form
continue
By
Change preposition
This
this
situation, it
would force us to choose one of the best Correct pronoun usage
apply
thing
that we Change to a plural noun
things
considered
would Wrong verb form
consider
contribute
less bad impact Verb problem
have
to
our Change preposition
on
lives
and career
.
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
To conclude
, taking risk
for everyone in all aspects of life means how to be brave and to be an independent person, to stand Fix the agreement mistake
risks
in
our own and not depend Change preposition
on
in
others. Change preposition
on
Moreover
, it would be improve
Change the verb form
improve
our self
to be more confident, to believe in Correct your spelling
ourselves
our self
in every Correct your spelling
ourselves
situations
.Change to a singular noun
situation
Submitted by k a l l a on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The essay covers the basic aspects of the task, discussing both professional and personal lives in the context of taking risks. However, some points lack clarity and development. Ensure that all main points are comprehensively discussed and supported with detailed examples.
task achievement
Work on improving sentence structures and ensuring grammatical accuracy. This will contribute to better clarity and more professional tone.
coherence cohesion
Aim to use varied and complex sentence structures while maintaining clarity. This can elevate the coherence and sophistication of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Linking words and phrases are used, but improve the transitions between ideas and paragraphs for a smoother flow of information.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the discussion.
task achievement
The intention behind the arguments is clear, and the essay stays broadly relevant to the prompt.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.