Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactiory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

The bad
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Bad
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situations
happens
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happen
show examples
in our
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
. The two reactions exist against these problems. Some people believe that they should
to
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apply
show examples
accept
this
situation and
to
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apply
show examples
enjoy their
lifes
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lives
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. Others believe that they cannot live happily with
life
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life's
show examples
difficults
Correct your spelling
difficulties
difficult
and should solve any problems. We discuss both
approches
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approaches
. The first view you can meet
in
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is in
show examples
profound works of
greek
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Greek
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phylosophers
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philosophers
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.
For example
, Diogenes, the great thinker of
antient
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ancient
times. He was an adept of
idea
Add an article
the idea
an idea
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that everybody should be moderate in their desires and enjoy any moment in their life.
For instance
unsatisfactiory
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unsatisfactory
satisfactory
job or
shortage
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a shortage
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of money,
man
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a man
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can have
a
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apply
show examples
good
feels
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feelings
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even if he won't have
ones
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one
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, it is a harmful bustle for human
satisfactory
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satisfaction
show examples
and
placid
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a placid
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existence.
Also
happens man has an interesting well-paid job but he undergoes very hard
difficults
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difficulties
difficult
difficulty
hence
he begins to be nervous, exhausted,
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and annoyanced
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annoyanced
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and annoyed
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. Sometimes,
person
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a person
the person
show examples
has a lot of money but doesn't have the time to spend
one
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it
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. The second opinion,
conversely
, claims that we need a correction of bad situations. In other terms as a rule people need
in
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apply
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the
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apply
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success namely
a
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apply
show examples
wealthy
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wealth
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,
a
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apply
show examples
fame,
respect
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and respect
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from all mankind. Nobody must endure
a suffer
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suffering
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on
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in
show examples
work place
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the workplace
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and every person must be
secured
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secure
show examples
and have a big welfare. It will help to improve
a
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apply
show examples
quality of life,
for example
, allow
to purchase
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purchasing
show examples
a modern appliances
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modern appliances
a modern appliance
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,
to
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apply
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get
a
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apply
show examples
quality healthcare,
receive
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and receive
show examples
an
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a
show examples
useful education. It
an
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is an
show examples
ideal sample for aspiration. It is a difficult way,
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and required
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required
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requires
show examples
an
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apply
show examples
endeavor and
a
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apply
show examples
patience. To summarise, a certain answer
for
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to
show examples
this
question doesn't exist. My opinion concludes that every person should choose
more
Add an article
a more
the more
show examples
comfortable variant. I cannot diminish my desires
therefore
I am a proponent of
second
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the second
show examples
option.
Submitted by andreidiakov2100 on

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Grammar
Work on your grammatical accuracy to improve the clarity of your sentences. This will make it easier for the reader to understand your argument.
Development and Examples
Develop your main points further with more specific examples and detailed explanations. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more comprehensive.
Balance
Aim for a more balanced discussion by elaborating equally on both viewpoints. Your essay currently leans more towards one side.
Task Response
It's clear that you've put effort into discussing both viewpoints. This is a critical requirement for a discussion essay and you have met this criterion.
Logical Structure
You've included an introduction and a conclusion, which helps provide structure to your essay.
Examples and Support
The reference to Greek philosophers shows an attempt to bring in historical context and wider perspectives. This is a good effort to enrich your argument.

Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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