Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactiory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #situation #unsatisfactiory #job #shortage #money #situations

The bad

Correct article usage

Bad

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situations

happens

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happen

show examples

in our

lifes

Correct your spelling

lives

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. The two reactions exist against these problems. Some people believe that they should

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apply

show examples

this

situation and

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apply

show examples

enjoy their

lifes

Correct your spelling

lives

show examples

. Others believe that they cannot live happily with

life

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life's

show examples

difficults

Correct your spelling

difficulties

difficult

and should solve any problems. We discuss both

approches

Correct your spelling

approaches

. The first view you can meet

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is in

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profound works of

greek

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Greek

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phylosophers

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philosophers

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For example

, Diogenes, the great thinker of

antient

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ancient

times. He was an adept of

idea

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the idea

an idea

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that everybody should be moderate in their desires and enjoy any moment in their life.

For instance

unsatisfactiory

Correct your spelling

unsatisfactory

satisfactory

job or

shortage

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a shortage

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of money,

man

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a man

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can have

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apply

show examples

good

feels

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feelings

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even if he won't have

ones

Fix the agreement mistake

one

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, it is a harmful bustle for human

satisfactory

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satisfaction

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and

placid

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a placid

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existence.

Also

happens man has an interesting well-paid job but he undergoes very hard

difficults

Correct your spelling

difficulties

difficult

difficulty

hence

he begins to be nervous, exhausted,

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and annoyanced

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annoyanced

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and annoyed

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. Sometimes,

person

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a person

the person

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has a lot of money but doesn't have the time to spend

one

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show examples

. The second opinion,

conversely

, claims that we need a correction of bad situations. In other terms as a rule people need

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apply

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the

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apply

show examples

success namely

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apply

show examples

wealthy

Replace the word

wealth

show examples

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apply

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fame,

respect

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and respect

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from all mankind. Nobody must endure

a suffer

Wrong verb form

suffering

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

work place

Correct your spelling

the workplace

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and every person must be

secured

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secure

show examples

and have a big welfare. It will help to improve

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apply

show examples

quality of life,

for example

, allow

to purchase

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purchasing

show examples

a modern appliances

Correct the article-noun agreement

modern appliances

a modern appliance

show examples

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

get

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apply

show examples

quality healthcare,

receive

Correct word choice

and receive

show examples

Change the article

show examples

useful education. It

Add a missing verb

is an

show examples

ideal sample for aspiration. It is a difficult way,

Correct word choice

and required

show examples

required

Wrong verb form

requires

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

endeavor and

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apply

show examples

patience. To summarise, a certain answer

for

Change preposition

show examples

this

question doesn't exist. My opinion concludes that every person should choose

Add an article

a more

the more

show examples

comfortable variant. I cannot diminish my desires

therefore

I am a proponent of

second

Change the article

the second

show examples

option.

Submitted by andreidiakov2100 on Fri Jun 21 2024

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Grammar

Work on your grammatical accuracy to improve the clarity of your sentences. This will make it easier for the reader to understand your argument.

Development and Examples

Develop your main points further with more specific examples and detailed explanations. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more comprehensive.

Balance

Aim for a more balanced discussion by elaborating equally on both viewpoints. Your essay currently leans more towards one side.

Task Response

It's clear that you've put effort into discussing both viewpoints. This is a critical requirement for a discussion essay and you have met this criterion.

Logical Structure

You've included an introduction and a conclusion, which helps provide structure to your essay.

Examples and Support

The reference to Greek philosophers shows an attempt to bring in historical context and wider perspectives. This is a good effort to enrich your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
52Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

287 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactiory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Today more and more people want things instantly (e.g goods, service, news). Why is this? Is it positive or negative development?

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?

In the future, it will be harder to live on Earth than before, because it believed that people think they should spend money for researching another planet where they move on, such as Mars. I totally disagree with this opinion

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory in high school programs (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). Do you agree or disagree?