IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

To many countries, people decide to have a child at a later age. Why is this? Do the advantages of this devlopment outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays,It is becoming more and more popular for
people
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 to have a
child
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in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 older
ages
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.Actually,most of the population might prefer to have a
child
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in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
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 higher
age
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 rather than a younger
age
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.
Moreover
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,there are a lot of advantages and disadvantages of having a
child
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an
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of an
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 elderly
age
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.In
this
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 essay,I will address some pros and cons of
this
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 decision among
people
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 and I
also
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,I will
draw
Rephrase
also draw
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 my conclusion. Let's begin by looking at some benefits of having a
child
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 at a later
age
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.As a matter of fact,the community who tend to have
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child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
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in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 older
ages
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,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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 may have more stability in financial circumstances.Clearly,having a
baby
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 will bring a lot of extra costs unconsciously.
For instance
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,the
parents
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 have to purchase many toys and new clothes for their
child
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.
Additionally
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,the
people
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 who choose to have a
baby
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in
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at
show examples
 later
ages
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 have
more
Add an article
a more
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 peaceful life and
also
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they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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have more spare time to spend together.
In other words
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,the family who
do
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does
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 not have a
baby
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 at a later
age
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 could travel more than
parents
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 with little children. Turning to the other side of the argument,having a
baby
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 at a higher
age
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 often has some demerits.First of all,the
people
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 who decide to have a
baby
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 at a later
age
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 might get a lot of various diseases during
this
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 time.Based on
a
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apply
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research,pregnancy
in
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at
show examples
 higher
ages
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 can increase the risk of getting diabetes and
also
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 cholesterol.Another notable con is that the
age
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 gap between
parents
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 and the
baby
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 could affect their relationship.
For example
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,
the
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apply
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parents
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 aged 40 years old could be less compatible with their
child
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 rather than
parents
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 under 25 years old.
To conclude
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,despite the fact that giving birth to a
baby
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 at a later
age
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 often causes financial steadiness and free time,It may be dangerous for
parents
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' health.
In addition
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,the
parents
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 would face significant problems because of the long difference in
age
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.In my opinion, having a
baby
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 in
Middle
Correct article usage
the Middle
show examples
Ages
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 can outweigh having a
baby
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 in youth.

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task achievement
Your essay adequately addresses the topic and provides a balanced discussion of the pros and cons of having a child at a later age. However, it would benefit from more detailed explanations and depth on some points. For example, you can expand on how financial stability and having more spare time specifically impact the child-rearing experience.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your ideas flow more logically from one paragraph to the next. The transition between sections can be smoother, which will help the reader follow your arguments better. Use more cohesive devices properly, such as 'furthermore' to add information and 'however' to show contrast, and avoid abrupt shifts in ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay and clearly states your opinion, providing a solid ending.
task achievement
You have provided relevant and specific examples, such as the financial responsibilities (toys and clothes) and health risks (diabetes and cholesterol), which make your arguments more concrete.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • prerequisite
  • financial stability
  • settling down
  • fertility treatments
  • nurturing environment
  • late pregnancies
  • demographic structure
  • individualism
  • personal development
  • career advancement
What to do next:
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