To many countries, people decide to have a child at a later age. Why is this? Do the advantages of this devlopment outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #child #age #devlopment

Nowadays,It is becoming more and more popular for

people

to have a

child

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older

ages

.Actually,most of the population might prefer to have a

child

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the

Correct article usage

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higher

age

rather than a younger

age

Moreover

,there are a lot of advantages and disadvantages of having a

child

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of an

show examples

elderly

age

.In

this

essay,I will address some pros and cons of

this

decision among

people

and I

also

,I will

draw

Rephrase

also draw

show examples

my conclusion. Let's begin by looking at some benefits of having a

child

at a later

age

.As a matter of fact,the community who tend to have

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

Change preposition

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older

ages

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

may have more stability in financial circumstances.Clearly,having a

baby

will bring a lot of extra costs unconsciously.

For instance

,the

parents

have to purchase many toys and new clothes for their

child

Additionally

,the

people

who choose to have a

baby

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show examples

later

ages

have

Add an article

a more

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peaceful life and

also

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

have more spare time to spend together.

In other words

,the family who

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does

show examples

not have a

baby

at a later

age

could travel more than

parents

with little children. Turning to the other side of the argument,having a

baby

at a higher

age

often has some demerits.First of all,the

people

who decide to have a

baby

at a later

age

might get a lot of various diseases during

this

time.Based on

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apply

show examples

research,pregnancy

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higher

ages

can increase the risk of getting diabetes and

also

cholesterol.Another notable con is that the

age

gap between

parents

and the

baby

could affect their relationship.

For example

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

parents

aged 40 years old could be less compatible with their

child

rather than

parents

under 25 years old.

To conclude

,despite the fact that giving birth to a

baby

at a later

age

often causes financial steadiness and free time,It may be dangerous for

parents

' health.

In addition

,the

parents

would face significant problems because of the long difference in

age

.In my opinion, having a

baby

Middle

Correct article usage

the Middle

show examples

Ages

can outweigh having a

baby

in youth.

Submitted by TUTOO on Fri Jun 21 2024

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task achievement

Your essay adequately addresses the topic and provides a balanced discussion of the pros and cons of having a child at a later age. However, it would benefit from more detailed explanations and depth on some points. For example, you can expand on how financial stability and having more spare time specifically impact the child-rearing experience.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your ideas flow more logically from one paragraph to the next. The transition between sections can be smoother, which will help the reader follow your arguments better. Use more cohesive devices properly, such as 'furthermore' to add information and 'however' to show contrast, and avoid abrupt shifts in ideas.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay and clearly states your opinion, providing a solid ending.

task achievement

You have provided relevant and specific examples, such as the financial responsibilities (toys and clothes) and health risks (diabetes and cholesterol), which make your arguments more concrete.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

319 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

prerequisite
financial stability
settling down
fertility treatments
nurturing environment
late pregnancies
demographic structure
individualism
personal development
career advancement

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To many countries, people decide to have a child at a later age. Why is this? Do the advantages of this devlopment outweigh the disadvantages?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

Space travel to the Moon is often cited as one giant leap for mankind. Yet some people argue that this achievement made little differenct to our daily lives. What is your opinion?

oday, the quality of life in large cities is decreasing. Discuss the causes and solutions.

In the past, lectures were the traditional method of teaching large numbers of students in a classroom. Nowadays new technology is increasingly being used to teach students. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this new approach in teaching?