Many jobs used to be done by hand, but nowadays an increasing number of them are done using machines instead. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this development.

In the past numerous
occupation
Fix the agreement mistake
occupations
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
done by humans.
However
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
days a
lot
of jobs are done by
machines
instead
of
people
.
This
issue
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
some advantages and disadvantages. On the
first
Correct word choice
other
show examples
hand, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
two main pros of using
machines
instead
of humans.
Firstly
, the owner of the company will
saves
Change the verb form
save
show examples
a
lot
of money.
Secondly
, it could
safe
Replace the word
save
show examples
numerous
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
life
from death. For a clear example,
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
1975 to 1985 a
lot
of
companys
Correct your spelling
companies
get to
Wrong verb form
got
show examples
burned by a small mistake from anyone and numerous families get to be dead.
On the other hand
, there are two main cons of using
machines
. The first one is that the
machines
have been polluting the whole earth with smoke.
Furthermore
, a
lot
of animals were dying from that smoke. The
socond
Correct your spelling
second
con
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
is that
people
in now a days
Correct your spelling
nowadays
show examples
have no jobs or
works
Correct subject-verb agreement
work
show examples
to do
also
, they take a
lot
of time
after
Change preposition
off after
show examples
they get
a
Change the article
an
show examples
occupation. In conclusion,
this
essay discussed the issue of using
machines
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
people
to do jobs.
However
, in the
past
Add a comma
past,
show examples
there
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
only
few
Change the article
a few
show examples
machines
. Many
people
need more information about
this
topic. It is better to exchange our experience about
this
issue.
Submitted by ryalhamdan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Improve grammatical accuracy, especially with subject-verb agreement and pluralization.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and stays focused on a single idea. This will improve the logical structure of the essay.
task response
Provide more detailed and specific examples to support your points, making your argument stronger and clearer.
introduction conclusion
Strengthen the introduction and conclusion by summarizing the main points more effectively and clearly restating your position on the topic.
task response
The essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages of using machines instead of humans, showing a balanced approach.
supporting examples
The intention to provide examples to illustrate points is good, even if the examples need to be more specific and detailed.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Automation
  • Efficiency
  • Productivity
  • Economic growth
  • Mass production
  • Standardization
  • Job displacement
  • Skill obsolescence
  • Overreliance
  • Income inequality
  • Social mobility
  • Technological advancements
  • Manual labor
  • Continuous learning
  • Skill development
What to do next:
Look at other essays: