Many jobs used to be done by hand, but nowadays an increasing number of them are done using machines instead. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this development.
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What works well
2The essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages of using machines instead of humans, showing a balanced approach.
The intention to provide examples to illustrate points is good, even if the examples need to be more specific and detailed.
Improvement Suggestions
4Improve grammatical accuracy, especially with subject-verb agreement and pluralization.
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and stays focused on a single idea. This will improve the logical structure of the essay.
Provide more detailed and specific examples to support your points, making your argument stronger and clearer.
Strengthen the introduction and conclusion by summarizing the main points more effectively and clearly restating your position on the topic.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?