Many jobs used to be done by hand, but nowadays an increasing number of them are done using machines instead. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this development.

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In the past numerous

occupation

Fix the agreement mistake

occupations

show examples

was

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

show examples

done by humans.

However

Linking Words

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

days a

lot

Use synonyms

of jobs are done by

machines

Use synonyms

instead

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

issue

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

some advantages and disadvantages. On the

first

Correct word choice

other

show examples

hand, there

Change the verb form

are

show examples

two main pros of using

machines

Use synonyms

instead

Linking Words

of humans.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the owner of the company will

saves

Change the verb form

save

show examples

lot

Use synonyms

of money.

Secondly

Linking Words

, it could

safe

Replace the word

save

show examples

numerous

lifes

Correct your spelling

lives

life

from death. For a clear example,

Change preposition

from

show examples

1975 to 1985 a

lot

Use synonyms

companys

Correct your spelling

companies

get to

Wrong verb form

got

show examples

burned by a small mistake from anyone and numerous families get to be dead.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are two main cons of using

machines

Use synonyms

. The first one is that the

machines

Use synonyms

have been polluting the whole earth with smoke.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, a

lot

Use synonyms

of animals were dying from that smoke. The

socond

Correct your spelling

second

con

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is that

people

Use synonyms

in now a days

Correct your spelling

nowadays

show examples

have no jobs or

works

Correct subject-verb agreement

work

show examples

to do

also

Linking Words

, they take a

lot

Use synonyms

of time

after

Change preposition

off after

show examples

they get

Change the article

show examples

occupation. In conclusion,

this

Linking Words

essay discussed the issue of using

machines

Use synonyms

than

Rephrase

rather than

show examples

people

Use synonyms

to do jobs.

However

Linking Words

, in the

past

Add a comma

past,

show examples

there

was

Change the verb form

were

show examples

only

few

Change the article

a few

show examples

machines

Use synonyms

. Many

people

Use synonyms

need more information about

this

Linking Words

topic. It is better to exchange our experience about

this

Linking Words

issue.

ryalhamdanFri Jun 21 2024

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What works well

task response

The essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages of using machines instead of humans, showing a balanced approach.

supporting examples

The intention to provide examples to illustrate points is good, even if the examples need to be more specific and detailed.

Improvement Suggestions

grammar

Improve grammatical accuracy, especially with subject-verb agreement and pluralization.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and stays focused on a single idea. This will improve the logical structure of the essay.

task response

Provide more detailed and specific examples to support your points, making your argument stronger and clearer.

introduction conclusion

Strengthen the introduction and conclusion by summarizing the main points more effectively and clearly restating your position on the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

202 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Automation
Efficiency
Productivity
Economic growth
Mass production
Standardization
Job displacement
Skill obsolescence
Overreliance
Income inequality
Social mobility
Technological advancements
Manual labor
Continuous learning
Skill development

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Many jobs used to be done by hand, but nowadays an increasing number of them are done using machines instead. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this development.

What works well

Improvement Suggestions

Your opinion

There are people who thinks if a person is rich he is successful in his life . Do you agree or disagree

More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people say that the price increase of fattening foods will solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that newspapers are the best way to get news. However, others believe that they can get news better through other media platforms. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.