When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sport facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#town #parks #sport #facilities #centers #people #time

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This

essay will discuss

Correct article usage

the

show examples

planning of

new

Correct article usage

a new

show examples

town. Urbanists need to choose

type

Add an article

the type

show examples

of building when they plan to build something in a certain place. We will consider public parks,

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

facilities and shopping

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

. And

also

we will compare these variants.

To begin

with public parks. It is a pleasant and nice place, where people can breathe

Remove the article

apply

show examples

fresh air,

spend

Correct word choice

and spend

show examples

their time with their friends or their girlfriend.

Also

, somebody will do sports,

for example

, running. Somebody can take photos of plants or animals and enjoy a conciliation with nature.

Moreover

, amateurs of natural science and biology will

be satisfy

Change the verb form

be satisfied

show examples

when they walk around a forest. We can set up

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

facilities there,

thus

people can work out and they will

Add a missing verb

be more

show examples

sportive

Correct word choice

sporty

show examples

healthy

Correct word choice

and healthy

show examples

and they will have a stout body. Mental and physical health are very important compounds for

welfare

Add an article

the welfare

show examples

of society. It is a low-cost variant for construction. To continue with shopping

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

. It is a huge building, where somebody can buy

vast

Correct article usage

a vast

show examples

list of

commodies

Correct your spelling

commodities

Besides

, people can spend their time culturally here and

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

relax in the

sinema

Correct your spelling

cinema

or eat in

Add an article

the foodcourt

show examples

foodcourt

Correct your spelling

food court

show examples

Nevertheless

, shopping malls are not very safe

place

Fix the agreement mistake

places

show examples

, because fire or

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

accidental situations sometimes appear there.

Also

Add a comma

Also,

show examples

we should consider high-cost

this

great building. In conclusion, I rather agree with

topic

Correct article usage

the topic

show examples

this

essay. Public parks and

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

facilities

dont't

Correct your spelling

don't

have explicit disadvantages, but more

cheapful

Correct your spelling

cheap

helpful

cheerful

compared with shopping

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

Submitted by andreidiakov2100 on Fri Jun 21 2024

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task achievement

Your essay provides a clear structure, but it could benefit from more development and clarity in expressing clear and comprehensive ideas. Try to expand on your points with specific reasons and examples to strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

The essay is generally organized, but it could be improved by using more transition words and phrases to ensure a smoother flow between sentences and paragraphs. Also, your essay should have a more definitive conclusion that summarizes your key points.

overall structure

You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is good for readability.

language use

The use of a variety of sentence structures enhances the readability of your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

240 words

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When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sport facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

International tourism has brought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages?

write a review about the movie green book and analyzed it

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

SOME COMPANIES SPONSOR SPORTS AS A WAY TO ADVERTISE THEMSELVES. SOME PEOPLE THINK IS GOOD, WHILE OTHERS THINK THERE ARE DISADVANTAGES TO THIS. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Several people assert that the main cause of crime is an economically disadvantaged background. However, others say that crime is caused by a person's nature. Discuss both ideas and give your opinion.