When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sport facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#town #parks #sport #facilities #centers #people #time

This

essay will discuss

Correct article usage

the

show examples

planning of

new

Correct article usage

a new

show examples

town. Urbanists need to choose

type

Add an article

the type

show examples

of building when they plan to build something in a certain place. We will consider public parks,

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

facilities and shopping

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

. And

also

we will compare these variants.

To begin

with public parks. It is a pleasant and nice place, where people can breathe

Remove the article

apply

show examples

fresh air,

spend

Correct word choice

and spend

show examples

their time with their friends or their girlfriend.

Also

, somebody will do sports,

for example

, running. Somebody can take photos of plants or animals and enjoy a conciliation with nature.

Moreover

, amateurs of natural science and biology will

be satisfy

Change the verb form

be satisfied

show examples

when they walk around a forest. We can set up

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

facilities there,

thus

people can work out and they will

Add a missing verb

be more

show examples

sportive

Correct word choice

sporty

show examples

healthy

Correct word choice

and healthy

show examples

and they will have a stout body. Mental and physical health are very important compounds for

welfare

Add an article

the welfare

show examples

of society. It is a low-cost variant for construction. To continue with shopping

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

. It is a huge building, where somebody can buy

vast

Correct article usage

a vast

show examples

list of

commodies

Correct your spelling

commodities

Besides

, people can spend their time culturally here and

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

relax in the

sinema

Correct your spelling

cinema

or eat in

Add an article

the foodcourt

show examples

foodcourt

Correct your spelling

food court

show examples

Nevertheless

, shopping malls are not very safe

place

Fix the agreement mistake

places

show examples

, because fire or

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

accidental situations sometimes appear there.

Also

Add a comma

Also,

show examples

we should consider high-cost

this

great building. In conclusion, I rather agree with

topic

Correct article usage

the topic

show examples

this

essay. Public parks and

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

facilities

dont't

Correct your spelling

don't

have explicit disadvantages, but more

cheapful

Correct your spelling

cheap

helpful

cheerful

compared with shopping

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

Submitted by andreidiakov2100 on Fri Jun 21 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your essay provides a clear structure, but it could benefit from more development and clarity in expressing clear and comprehensive ideas. Try to expand on your points with specific reasons and examples to strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

The essay is generally organized, but it could be improved by using more transition words and phrases to ensure a smoother flow between sentences and paragraphs. Also, your essay should have a more definitive conclusion that summarizes your key points.

overall structure

You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is good for readability.

language use

The use of a variety of sentence structures enhances the readability of your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

240 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Your friend invited you to his/her birthday party, but you are not able to attend. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter -Explain why you cannot go - say that you will give your friend a gift the next time you see him/her -suggest another time and place to meet
I am writing hope letter finds you well and good mental, I just now read your email and fill of email you invited me attend to your birthday party, however, I could'nt attend in your birthday celeberate.
6
band
Governments give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some would argue that the authorities give huge financial aid to the talented individuals,while others are
6
band
Some people feel that playing computer games has a negative impact on children's health and social skills. Other say that it can have a positive impact on their lives. Discuss both these views!
Computer games were developed many decades ago, and people of all ages are interested in different softwares. Certain people believe that playing them has drawbacks for youngsters in terms of well-being and social life skills. However, some people say, it will benefit kids in the future. This essay will discuss both views, and I believe children need to be monitored by their parents while playing it.
5
band
art classes, such as painting and drawing. are as important to child's development s other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is commonly said that art should be a compulsory subject in high school as art can improve students’ development. This writer agrees with this statement as it helps students perform better in other subjects and improves their creativity.
5
band
Technology is becoming progressively universal. In the fullness of time, classroom teachers will be totally substituted for technology. Do you agree or disagree?
In this present world, the usage of technology is constantly on the rise. Even classrooms are among the many places that enjoy the usage and benefits of technology. It is disagreed that classroom teachers will be totally substituted for technology. Analysing the incapability of disciplining classroom students with technology, as well as the limitation in the learning process of students taught with technology will prove this.

When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sport facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Your friend invited you to his/her birthday party, but you are not able to attend. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter -Explain why you cannot go - say that you will give your friend a gift the next time you see him/her -suggest another time and place to meet

Governments give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people feel that playing computer games has a negative impact on children's health and social skills. Other say that it can have a positive impact on their lives. Discuss both these views!

art classes, such as painting and drawing. are as important to child's development s other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Technology is becoming progressively universal. In the fullness of time, classroom teachers will be totally substituted for technology. Do you agree or disagree?