IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people use distance-learning programmes (study material, post, TV, the Internet, etc.) to study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefits of attending college or university. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #programmes #study #post #tv #internet #home #college #university
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Whilst many prefer the digital format of learning at home, others think that it can not bring the same benefits as attending college or university does. I believe that
distance-learning
Correct your spelling
distance learning
show examples
 can help a
student
 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
management and it can
also
 boost the knowledge of the attendee. One of the reasons I agree that online learning is able to save time
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a
student
 is that it allows the participant to study at two educational places and get a lot of observation.
That is
 to say, there are a lot of people who want to graduate from two schools and get diplomas,
due to
 the fact that they need more than one subject.
For example
, there is a profession called the profiler who works in two areas
such
 as psychology and law, as in Kazakhstan there is no opportunity to get that one basic knowledge for 4 years,
hence
 the
student
 should study each subject separately for 8 years
, by
Change preposition
for, by
show examples
this
 way online studying helps individuals to save the labour.
Moreover
, it can enhance dramatically the understanding of aspects of
student's
Fix the agreement mistake
students'
show examples
 future jobs, by dedicating more hours and power than usual to studies. It is known that more practice,
more
Correct word choice
and more
show examples
 experience, the better results. As they will have more time to understand and to practise in that field.
For example
,
according to
 the latest research of the top-ranked University of Yale, 76% of individuals who took 2 educations, had better done at the final exam and had excellent experience than others in the related subjects area. In conclusion,
this
 essay completely agrees with the fact that
distance-learning
Correct your spelling
distance learning
show examples
 is great for the education of the students,
due to
 the fact that it allows them to save their own time,
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
 to gain knowledge more.
Submitted by aizered097 on

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task achievement
Consider expanding your conclusion to reiterate your main points more clearly and comprehensively.
task achievement
Watch out for minor grammatical errors and language inaccuracies to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth and logical transitions between your paragraphs for improved coherence.
task achievement
Your introduction sets a clear stance on the topic which aligns with the prompt.
task achievement
Examples provided are relevant and help support your argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear logical structure within paragraphs, and main points are well supported.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a conclusion which effectively summarizes your stance.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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