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Band 4.5

The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today.

#plans #show #harbour
The given maps illustrate the changes that took place in Porth
harbour
Capitalize word
Harbour
show examples
 from 2000 to the present.
Overall
, it is clear the most noticeable is that
instead
 of the southeast part of the Porth harbour, the castle was replaced by the hotel with the access road. In the year 2000, at the start of the main road, there were Marina private yachts, which were later replaced by fishing boats.
Moreover
, in the past, there was only one dock in the northeast part of the Porth harbour. Afterwards, a new dock was built, so there are today 2 docks.
By contrast
, in the southwest, there were no facilities.
However
, now there are showers and toilets.
Additionally
, the fishing boats were replaced by Marina private yachts.In the southern part, the public beach was changed to a private beach for hotel users.
As a result
, cafes and shops were constructed in the place of empty land which is near the lifeboat station.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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clarity comprehensive
To improve the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and develops it fully. For instance, you mentioned the replacement of the marina private yachts with fishing boats and vice versa, but did not clearly elaborate on the significance of these changes.
sentence structure
Make sure to use more varied and complex sentence structures to enhance the fluidity of the essay. Try using more linking words to improve the flow between ideas.
conclusion
Add a conclusion paragraph to summarize the overall changes and key points you discussed. This will make your essay feel more complete and rounded.
relevant examples
Include more relevant and specific examples to strengthen the thoroughness of your response. For example, you could mention specific changes in infrastructure or amenities that impacted the harbor.
comparison
You provided a clear comparison between the past and present states of the harbour, which helps in understanding the changes over time.
transformation identification
Your essay effectively identifies the key transformations that have occurred in the harbour, such as the replacement of the castle with a hotel and the introduction of new docks.
structure
The overall structure of the essay, dividing the harbour into different sections for discussion, helps in organizing the information logically.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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