Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for e.g. working for a charity improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extend do you agree or disagree?
One question from
a
field of education is high Correct article usage
the
school
programs. Ratio
of different subjects is a cause of controversy for some people. In Add an article
The ratio
this
essay
we will dispute Add a comma
essay,
about
unpaid community service in Change preposition
apply
school
, discuss
Correct word choice
and discuss
advantages
and disadvantages.
Correct pronoun usage
its advantages
To begin
with advantages. The most evident benefit is profit for society. Children will help to
adult workers, comply Change preposition
apply
unqualified
labour. But what will children get Change preposition
with unqualified
instead
? Why will they work? Teens can receive very useful experience. For example
, adolescents can teach more young student
sports or sciences. Experience Fix the agreement mistake
students
of
public performance and Change preposition
in
work
with Wrong verb form
working
audience
are Add an article
the audience
an audience
usefull
skills not only for teachingCorrect your spelling
useful
,
but and for other domains of life. Another example, teens can learn labour professions. Not all adolescents will get Remove the comma
apply
a
intellectual job, for many Change the article
an
Add a comma
persons,
persons
it will be Replace the word
people
usefully
.
Change the word
useful
On the
contrary
disadvantages exist. Add a comma
contrary,
High
Add an article
The high
school
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
is
very overloaded, adolescents have many Correct subject-verb agreement
are
diffucult
exams, Correct your spelling
difficult
they
haven't time to sweep Correct word choice
and they
streets
. Correct article usage
the streets
Also
, the significant moment, some teens will be scientists, important workers in industry, crucial
employees in government. Correct word choice
and crucial
Than
Correct your spelling
Then
more
they will learn maths, natural science, Correct article usage
the more
liberal
arts, the better Correct word choice
and liberal
future
will be for society. Some of them are great people in Correct article usage
the future
them
generation.
In conclusion, my opinion is that Change the pronoun
their
this
idea can try
, but Wrong verb form
be tried
don't
spread out in advanced Verb problem
not
school
with very smart students. For Fix the agreement mistake
schools
others
it can bring benefits.Add a comma
others,
Submitted by andreidiakov2100 on
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task achievement
You should make your introduction more specific to the topic and state your position clearly. The current introduction is a bit vague and doesn't mention your stance on the issue.
task achievement
Work on expanding your main points with more detailed and specific examples. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Improve the transition between your points to make the essay flow more smoothly. This will help with overall coherence and make your essay easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. This will help improve clarity and readability.
task achievement
The essay attempts to discuss both advantages and disadvantages, which shows an effort to address the task comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion is concise and states a clear opinion, which helps to leave a strong impression.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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