In many countries, consumers can go to the supermarkets
The question of whether the
benefits
of limitless accessibility to the food
products
which are produced in other parts of the world outweigh the disadvantages has been sparking debates for several years. Despite the fact that there are some drawbacks associated with the topic, in my opinion, the main benefits
greatly outweigh the disadvantages.
On the one hand, a potential disadvantage may be is
the addition of too much preservative in these Unnecessary verb
apply
products
in order to long-distance transportation. Too much preservative could be harmful for
human health, Change the preposition
to
thus
the consumption of these foods could have negative physical effects on human
body. Another perceived drawback is that a huge Add an article
the human
amounts
of Correct the article-noun agreement
amount
money
needs
to be spent Change the verb form
need
for
transportation of the Change preposition
on
food
to the
other parts of the world which could be definitely dedicated to Correct article usage
apply
the
other important sectors, especially in developing Correct article usage
apply
countries
. To more extent, governments should invest more money
to improve
education or Change preposition
in improving
health
care system rather than importing Correct article usage
the health
some
fancy foods from Correct quantifier usage
apply
the
other parts of the world.
Correct article usage
apply
On the other hand
, the advantage of this
phenomenon should not be overlooked. First of all, exportation
of Add an article
the exportation
foods
to Fix the agreement mistake
food
the
other Correct article usage
apply
countries
can come along
with great financial Change preposition
apply
benefits
for countries
, especially developing or poor ones. The economy in these countries
does not have stable
situation so earning Add an article
a stable
money
by selling their crops or other food
products
have
great value for them. Correct subject-verb agreement
has
For instance
, suppose a developing country like Iran, every year a considerable amount of money
will be obtained through the exportation of some crops such
as tea, or nuts. Moreover
, the great pleasure that you can experience by trying a
Remove the article
food
a portion of food
food
that may be consumed by people who live far away from you should not be underestimated. It is worth mentioning that it could be a great relief for some who may be concern
about the amount of additives, thanks to the improvement of technology and Wrong verb form
concerned
also
the strict laws and regulations the amount of such
materials are
strictly controlled .
To summarize, Correct subject-verb agreement
is
while
it is true that consumption of products
which are not native to your country may have some challenges. It is clear that
it was outweighed by significant
Correct article usage
the significant
benefits
that having these products
brings to the economy of a country.Submitted by zshahhosein on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The essay adequately addresses the task response by acknowledging both the benefits and drawbacks of limitless accessibility to food products from around the world. However, try to delve deeper into each point. Elaborate further on how preservation, health impacts, and economic implications might affect the general population or specific groups within different countries.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure all ideas flow smoothly between and within paragraphs. For example, the transition between discussing preservative use and financial costs could be more fluid. Try using linking phrases to bridge ideas more seamlessly.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction effectively sets up the essay by presenting a balanced view of the debate, clearly stating your opinion.
supported main points
Your body paragraphs are well-organized, each addressing a specific aspect of the discussion. Main points are sufficiently supported, though examples could be more relevant or specific.
complete response
You provide a comprehensive response to the task with mostly clear and comprehensive ideas.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!