The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending.

The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending.
The charts make
comparison
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comparisons
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about
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between
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variety
Correct article usage
the variety
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sorts
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of sorts
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and locations of
dance
classes which are being taken by
young
Add an article
the young
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generation in Australia.
Overall
, there are five different places and three types of
dance
activities.
To begin
with,
while
most
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the most
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renowned place for
dance
is
Private
Correct article usage
a Private
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studio which is chosen by 48% of participants,
Collage-based
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College-based
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studios showed the
less
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lowest
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result
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results
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with 10%.
Moreover
, there
is
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are
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School halls
which
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in which
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24% of people take
dance
lessons
in
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apply
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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after school assignments.
Furthermore
, 18% of participants prefer community halls and other facilities. Nearly 600 students who are under 11 years old
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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preferred ballet.
Less
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The least
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popular option among them is modern
dance
which is adored by 300 of them. Tap exercises
liked
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were liked
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better by nearly 500 of them.The most common
dance
type among
11
Correct article usage
the 11
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-16 age group is modern with
bit
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a bit
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more
500
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than 500
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,
while
ballet
preferred
Add a missing verb
was preferred
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by only 300, and tap activity were interested
by
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in
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more than 400 of them.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words dance with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • distribution
  • attendance
  • community centers
  • dance schools
  • private studios
  • ballet
  • hip-hop
  • contemporary
  • ballroom
  • analysis
  • popularity
  • accessibility
  • cost
  • cultural trends
  • media influences
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