In mordern times, children are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. 1. Why has this change occured? 2. Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

#mordern #times #children #time #families #friends #change #parents #force #home

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There is no denying the fact that children should spend more time with their

parents

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. There is

also

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an argument that

kids

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do not want to talk with their mothers and feathers and spend

this

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time on other things like hanging out with friends and so on.

This

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essay will analyze

this

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topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On the one hand, there are several reasons why

this

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issue happened. One of the reasons is the huge gap between

this

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generation and the previous generation.

In other words

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, both the

kids

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and their families can not understand each other.

For instance

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, 20 years ago the environment that

parents

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grew up in cannot compare to what

this

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generation grew

upin

Correct your spelling

up in

. Things like internet, smartphones, and video games. So when they try to group up in a family meeting, it is obvious to the naked eye that they will fail.

On the other hand

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, when it comes to forcing their children to speak with them. It is clear to the naked eye that

this

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idea will bring stress and anxiety to the family. It is

also

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possible to say that

this

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will destroy the relationship between all of them.

For example

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, when the

parents

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force their

kids

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to stay with them, what do you expect will happen next? do you think it will create a vital environment in the house? So

that is

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why

this

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idea is a bad one. In conclusion. There are no easy answers to

this

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question. On balance,

nevertheless

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, I tend to believe that

kids

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should spend more time with their mothers and fathers to make a good and healthy relationship.

Lastly

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, the

kids

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should balance between their friends and their relationship with their

parents

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Submitted by sdam7843 on Fri Sep 20 2024

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task response

Try to address all parts of the task more fully. In particular, discuss explicitly why children are spending more time with friends and less with family and consider other factors beyond just the generation gap.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and flows well from one to the next. Consider using more transitional phrases to guide the reader.

supported main points

Use more specific examples and explanations to thoroughly support your main points. This will make your arguments more compelling.

introduction and conclusion present

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, helping to structure the argument effectively.

complete response

You made a good attempt at addressing both parts of the question and expressing your opinion clearly.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

291 words

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In mordern times, children are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. 1. Why has this change occured? 2. Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

University students should pay all the costs of their studies because university education benefits only individuals but not the society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Traffic and housing problems could be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the countryside. Do you agree or disagree?

the number of films produced in five countries in three years