Some people think that secondary or high school student should be taught how to use money management, as it is an important life skill. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

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There is no denying the fact that
money
is one of the most important basics of
live
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life
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.
While
is
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
is a commonly held belief that high school should
taught
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teach
be taught
show examples
their students how to use
money
management
as it is an important life skill. In my opinion ,
i
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I
show examples
consider
this
essay strongly
agree
Correct subject-verb agreement
agrees
show examples
with the fact
the\at
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that
student
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students
show examples
need to learn
money
management
.
To begin
with
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with,
show examples
learning
money
management
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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saving
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save
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.
In other words
,
learn
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learning
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it
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
such
a young age and saving
money
can
helps
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help
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in the future when they get a job.
In addition
, it
also
cna
Correct your spelling
can
help to build a project
in
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on
show examples
limited
Correct article usage
a limited
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budget.
For example
, a mini market or product after That Advertising the
prouduct
Correct your spelling
product
or the store
in
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on
show examples
a small budget. another point to consider, learning
money
management
can
helps
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
you choose any major you want. It is
also
possible to say that knowing about it
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
such
a young age
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
gives you a
prefect
Correct your spelling
perfect
show examples
time to know all about it.
Moreover
, helps to develop
the problem - solving
Correct your spelling
problem-solving
show examples
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
.
For instance
, one of the basics of
money
management
is solving problems in case anything
happened
Wrong verb form
happens
show examples
. In conclusion , despite people having different views, I believe that all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
to learn about
money
management
it could save someone's
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
.
Submitted by alaa5942005 on

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coherence cohesion
To further improve coherence and cohesion, make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and follow a logical flow. Work on transitioning smoothly between ideas.
task achievement
Work on enhancing task achievement by including more specific and varied examples, and by fully developing each supporting idea.
general
Pay attention to grammar and spelling errors. Small inaccuracies can affect the readability and professionalism of your essay.
task achievement
The essay adequately addresses the task and expresses a clear opinion throughout.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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