People naturally resist making changes in their lives. What kinds of problems can this cause? What solutions can you suggest?
Some individuals
are struggle
with changing their lives. The major problems are related to young Change the verb form
are struggling
people
who lose career opportunities and old
generation who cannot cope with a changing world. The main solutions are connected with learning technologies and using gadgets.
Add an article
the old
an old
Due to
Correct article usage
the world
world changing
old Add a hyphen
world-changing
people
have some difficulties in awareness of new trends and gadgets. They get used to stay
at home and Wrong verb form
staying
interact
with familiar Wrong verb form
interacting
people
that
is why they are unable to alter their lifestyle. The second major problem is linked with the situation when young individuals lose their career opportunities and it is impossible for them to be promoted. Work has changed dramatically with the help of Correct pronoun usage
which
technologies
. And because of Fix the agreement mistake
technology
it
Correct pronoun usage
this
people
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
a
lack Correct article usage
apply
of
knowledge in Change preposition
apply
this
field. To illustrate this
some articles demonstrate that a lot of people
who used to work without computers, for example
, have some problems with electronic devises
and apps.
Correct your spelling
devices
For instance
, the main solution is connected with personal development in technology
sphere and understanding how it works. It will help Add an article
the technology
people
to avoid issues in promotion and in complicated situations in the future. The second solution is related to an old generation who cannot handle with
changing trends and gadgets. They are supposed to learn how to use electronic Change preposition
apply
devises
and interact with different Replace the word
devices
people
if they want something to be changed.
In conclusion, for some people
it is complicated to alter their lifestyle Add a comma
people,
due to
the fact that world
has changed with the appearance of Correct article usage
the world
technologies
. Fix the agreement mistake
technology
That is
why individuals face difficulties in their work or understanding young
generation. They have to learn how to use new things because changes are inevitable.Correct article usage
the young
Submitted by sofina.elena2014 on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the main points of the task, such as identifying problems and suggesting solutions. However, ensure to provide specific and relevant examples to fully support your arguments. For example, provide case studies or real-life examples that illustrate how technology can aid the older generation in adapting to change.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, but avoid repetition and enhance the coherence by using a wider range of linking words and phrases. Additionally, provide more in-depth explanations for each point. For example, you could elaborate on why young people might lose career opportunities due to technological advancements.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. This can be achieved by using transitional phrases and connecting your ideas more clearly. For instance, start the second paragraph with a sentence that links it more clearly to the introduction.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented and clarify the essay's purpose. They effectively summarize the main points discussed within the body of the essay.
supported main points
Main points are appropriately identified. The essay recognizes both the problems and solutions related to resistance to change, demonstrating a clear understanding of the topic.
logical structure
The overall structure of the essay is logical, ensuring the reader can easily navigate through your arguments and points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.