It is recommended by some lawmakers to punish the parents in place of their children who have commited less serious crimes like disorderly conduct or theft. They say that this will force parents to become more responsible in taking care of their children. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

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In the case of minor crimes namely disorderly conduct or theft realized by
children
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, some councilmen suggest punishing the
parents
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instead
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of their offspring in order to make them aware of their responsibilities and duties towards them. I firmly believe that
penalities
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penalties
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must be imposed on
parents
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in
this
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category of crimes. In
this
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essay, I will dive into the depth of why I agree with
this
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approach.
To begin
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with,
researchs
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research
had
Wrong verb form
has
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shown by various social studies that every individual is a product of their environment, where
parents
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play a crucial role in providing a positive and supportive habitat to foster well-rounded
children
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and to fully equip them with the necessary education and moral compass. Based on what was mentioned, I am of the opinion that holding
parents
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accountable could encourage them to a better supervision and guidance and to be more vigilant in monitoring their
children
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's activities.
In other words
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,
such
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a policy could serve as a deterrent for guardians, making them more invested in ensuring their
children
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adhere to societal rules.
On the other hand
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, some may argue that penalizing
parents
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could be unfair if they are genuinely trying by struggling
due to
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circumstances like single parenting or financial constraints or even address the root cause of the child's behaviour on external factors
such
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as peer pressure or societal influences. In fact, I completely disagree with
this
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statement. Obviously, it can be the case,
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nevertheless
Add a comma
nevertheless,
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it is effortless to victimize oneself and to resign from their ultimate role. Assuming it is true, the
parents
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who are struggling in correcting their child's misconduct can ask for support and counselling from the social unit specialized before
this
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goes any
further
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. In conclusion,
although
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there might be challenges in implementing
such
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laws, I am convinced that
this
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approach would have a positive impact on society.

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task achievement
To enhance the task response, you could include more specific examples or scenarios that illustrate your points. This would support your argument effectively.
general
Be mindful of language accuracy. Though small inaccuracies don't heavily impact the score, improving accuracy can enhance understanding.
coherence cohesion
The essay effectively introduces the topic and provides a clear conclusion that reinforces the main argument.
task achievement
Strong stance on the topic, with a clear response to the prompt.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a logical structure, guiding the reader through your viewpoints.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • accountability
  • upbringing
  • supervision
  • guidance
  • vigilant
  • monitoring
  • deterrent
  • societal rules
  • peer pressure
  • societal influences
  • penalizing
  • genuinely
  • circumstances
  • correcting misconduct
  • counseling
  • support system
  • external factors
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