Some people think that activities done in a person’s free time should be planned, while others disagree. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. Write at least 250 words.

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Some believe that
people
should plan their leisure
time
for
activities
and others say that free
time
should be free and unorganized.
Although
unplanned spare
time
gives a sense of freedom and adventure, I believe that rest
time
should be organised and prepared for pursuing hobbies. The
people
who work with hectic schedules want their rest
time
unscheduled and the feeling of liberty and daring.
This
is because after working in a hectic environment,
people
might feel stressed and depressed
,
Correct word choice
and, therefore
show examples
therefore
, need their break
time
to be non-working and unorganized.
For instance
,
people
on their day off pursue
activities
according to
their mood and interests
such
as gardening, watching movies and indoor
activities
, which unwind their daily routine stress but they do
this
without any planning. Despite
this
, I would argue that free
time
should be well-organised even for those
activities
which are done in that
time
. Many individuals who plan their casual
time
in an organized manner, are able to do more
activities
.
That is
to say, they are able to pursue their favourite hobby in that
time
which is adventure for them.
For instance
,
people
start their day off with house cleaning, and do a lot more things after that, like meeting friends, exploring new places and health-related
activities
.
Moreover
, it is not stressful for them because they are habitual in organizing things. They are more relaxed, calm and rejuvenated. Their life is more easy, planned and organized for any wanted situation of life. In conclusion, the individuals who believe that spare
time
should be unplanned for adventure
activities
,
while
I believe that they can pursue these
activities
in a good and organized manner.
Submitted by maliksheetal32 on

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task achievement
Although the essay addresses both sides of the issue, there is room for improvement in idea development and clarity. For example, providing additional specific examples and elaborating on each point would strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point and that ideas are logically connected. Using transitional phrases can help in maintaining a smooth flow of ideas.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion that states the writer's opinion.
relevant specific examples
The essay provides relevant examples to support the points made, which bolsters the argument.
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