Some experts believe that when a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens any more satisfied. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some individuals are of the opinion that in a
country
which is already wealthy, the citizens would not even feel happy although
the economy develops rapidly. From my standpoint, this
statement is strongly disagreeable. This
essay will expound upon this
by giving compelling reasons and practical examples.
Firstly
, citizens living in wealthy countries could gain benefits from high-quality
education. Specifically,in a Add an article
a high-quality
country
that has an unstoppable rise in development, education could be enhanced, meaning that children would be instructed the lesson of the value of money
. Thus
, they would appreciate their earned money
when they have grown. In the case of Dubai is relevant here where has the highest number of wealthy people; furthermore
, in spite of significant growth in the country
's development, that country
still keeps the record of people who spend money
indeed carefully.
Secondly
, it is undeniable that economic growth is a decisive element. To be more precise, the growth of the economy supports workers not only having
higher wages but Change preposition
by having
also
access lucrative
career opportunities. Change preposition
to lucrative
As a result
, they could pay the cost of living more easily than the previous time as well as
live more comfortably; therefore
, there are
no Correct subject-verb agreement
is
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
that
citizens would have no positive reactions. Correct word choice
why
For instance
, in any
rich countries, workers always feel jealous of other co-workers in relation to collaborators' higher salaries, thanks to Correct quantifier usage
apply
this
situation, they may have more motivation to invest more effort in their work, and satisfyingly spending
that earned Replace the word
spend
money
to provide their relatives such
as their family to live without unaffordability.
In conclusion, though I think others have their own understandable arguments, I firmly disagree with this
way of thinking due to
easily paying the cost of living, and advanced education could instruct them to appreciate their earned money
. All of those listed elements, it
definitely Correct pronoun usage
apply
makes
them feel better.Correct subject-verb agreement
make
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task achievement
The essay is well-structured but ensure to link the ideas in the body paragraphs more explicitly, addressing the prompt throughout. Also, avoid generalizations that can weaken your argument, such as 'workers always feel jealous.'
task achievement
Improve the clarity of some sentences by focusing on the structure. For example, 'the growth of the economy supports workers not only having higher wages but also access lucrative career opportunities' could be clearer with slight adjustments.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the prompt and clearly introduces the main point of the paragraph. This can help guide readers through your argument more effectively.
task achievement
You have presented your argument clearly and have provided relevant examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, helping to frame your argument well.