Some experts believe that when a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens any more satisfied. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some individuals are of the opinion that in a

country

Use synonyms

which is already wealthy, the citizens would not even feel happy

although

Linking Words

the economy develops rapidly. From my standpoint,

this

Linking Words

statement is strongly disagreeable.

This

Linking Words

essay will expound upon

this

Linking Words

by giving compelling reasons and practical examples.

Firstly

Linking Words

, citizens living in wealthy countries could gain benefits from

high-quality

Add an article

a high-quality

show examples

education. Specifically,in a

country

Use synonyms

that has an unstoppable rise in development, education could be enhanced, meaning that children would be instructed the lesson of the value of

money

Use synonyms

Thus

Linking Words

, they would appreciate their earned

money

Use synonyms

when they have grown. In the case of Dubai is relevant here where has the highest number of wealthy people;

furthermore

Linking Words

, in spite of significant growth in the

country

Use synonyms

's development, that

country

Use synonyms

still keeps the record of people who spend

money

Use synonyms

indeed carefully.

Secondly

Linking Words

, it is undeniable that economic growth is a decisive element. To be more precise, the growth of the economy supports workers not only

having

Change preposition

by having

show examples

higher wages but

also

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access

lucrative

Change preposition

to lucrative

show examples

career opportunities.

As a result

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, they could pay the cost of living more easily than the previous time

as well as

Linking Words

live more comfortably;

therefore

Linking Words

, there

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

reasons

Fix the agreement mistake

reason

show examples

that

Correct word choice

why

show examples

citizens would have no positive reactions.

For instance

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, in

any

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

rich countries, workers always feel jealous of other co-workers in relation to collaborators' higher salaries, thanks to

this

Linking Words

situation, they may have more motivation to invest more effort in their work, and satisfyingly

spending

Replace the word

spend

show examples

that earned

money

Use synonyms

to provide their relatives

such

Linking Words

as their family to live without unaffordability. In conclusion, though I think others have their own understandable arguments, I firmly disagree with

this

Linking Words

way of thinking

due to

Linking Words

easily paying the cost of living, and advanced education could instruct them to appreciate their earned

money

Use synonyms

. All of those listed elements,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

definitely

makes

Correct subject-verb agreement

make

show examples

them feel better.

Sat Jun 22 2024

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task achievement

The essay is well-structured but ensure to link the ideas in the body paragraphs more explicitly, addressing the prompt throughout. Also, avoid generalizations that can weaken your argument, such as 'workers always feel jealous.'

task achievement

Improve the clarity of some sentences by focusing on the structure. For example, 'the growth of the economy supports workers not only having higher wages but also access lucrative career opportunities' could be clearer with slight adjustments.

coherence cohesion

Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the prompt and clearly introduces the main point of the paragraph. This can help guide readers through your argument more effectively.

task achievement

You have presented your argument clearly and have provided relevant examples to support your points.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, helping to frame your argument well.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

305 words

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