Some people believe that if an individual behaves in an anti-social manner, such as committing a crime, then society is to blame. What are the causes of anti-social behavior? Who do you think is responsible?*
Individuals with anti-social
manner
exist in any society. They make up a small proportion Fix the agreement mistake
manners
in
the population, but they Change preposition
of
expecially
often commit crimes Correct your spelling
especially
therefore
these persons are danger
Add an article
a danger
for
other people. We will discuss Change preposition
to
causes
of anti-social Correct article usage
the causes
behavior
and responsibility for it.
The first Change the spelling
behaviour
reason
in my opinion is a biological factor. Some children was
Change the verb form
were
borned
with innate deviations, we can identify not all ones, only remarkably diseases. Correct your spelling
born
Hence
some adult individuals inclined
to anti-social behaviour because of their disorder. We can try to identify these persons and provide medical care. Add a missing verb
are inclined
Nobody
responsible for their anti-social manner, it is a natural error.
The second Add a verb
Nobody is
Nobody was
reason
is a required mental disorder. It is a similar case to the first reason
. Miscellaneous psychiatric traumas are a serious risk for every person, not only for poor and unsuccessful people,
but even for Remove the comma
apply
the
great scientists, Correct article usage
apply
for example
, John Nash, who suffered from a
paranoia. Remove the article
apply
Problem
for society is Add an article
The problem
identification
Correct article usage
the identification
these
individuals in Change preposition
of these
early
stage of Add an article
the early
an early
disease
.
The next interesting Add an article
the disease
reason
is problem
of Add an article
the problem
a problem
migrants
, especially illegal migrants
. The collision of culture necessarily emerges when migrants
from distant countries with unlike culture
come Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
in
different Change preposition
to
country
. These men figure an ideal society else than Fix the agreement mistake
countries
Correct article usage
the indigenous
indigenous
population because Capitalize word
Indigenous
of
Change preposition
apply
this
two Correct determiner usage
these
group
of Fix the agreement mistake
groups
population
Add an article
the population
seem
each other Correct your spelling
see
as
anti-social. Change preposition
apply
Solution
is Add an article
The solution
a
border control and verification Correct article usage
apply
migrants
for compliance Change preposition
of migrants
of
local culture and respectChange preposition
with
its
. And Correct pronoun usage
apply
also
we need a check of language knowledge. The Border Guard Service also
responsible for the crime of Add a missing verb
is also
migrants
, but the executor of the crime also
guilty because unawareness Add a missing verb
is also
don't
Change the verb form
doesn't
unleashes
Change the verb form
unleash
from
responsibility.
To summarise we must Change preposition
apply
to
learnChange the verb form
apply
Change preposition
about a
a
source of incorrect behaviour, it is very important to set up Correct article usage
the
of
a system the punishment Change preposition
apply
more
fair.Add a missing verb
is more
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coherence cohesion
Work on creating a clear and logical structure for your essay. This means having a strong introduction, well-developed body paragraphs, and a succinct conclusion.
task achievement
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your arguments are well-supported with specific examples or evidence.
coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from clearer transitions between paragraphs. This helps guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
Your essay addresses multiple causes of anti-social behavior, showing a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
You attempt to analyze the issue from different perspectives, which adds depth to your argumentation.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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