Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
On
Change preposition
At
this
moment, an increasing sum of folks with diseases are inclined to substitute medicines and treatments
instead
of going to their regular doctor. I tend to a negative development for this
phenomenon because of the safety and the guarantee provided by some alternate medication
, here are some my
outlines.
Change preposition
of my
Firstly
, alternative medicines and treatments
are not always safe since it produced by
ingredients Change preposition
from
wheter
formulated by Correct your spelling
whether
were
Add an article
an expert
expert
or not. Since the formulation Fix the agreement mistake
experts
not
Add a missing verb
is not
suits
Wrong verb form
suited
with
patience problems it can lead Change preposition
to
malpractice
. Malpractice is a case when Change preposition
to malpractice
patience
Fix the agreement mistake
patients
get
Change the verb form
gets
a
Change the article
an
unappropriate
Correct your spelling
inappropriate
medication
then
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
disadvantages
Change preposition
to disadvantages
for
their Change preposition
to
health
condition. As an example, in Indonesia
there are many malpractice cases caused by some reasons. One of them is some people still Add a comma
Indonesia,
assured
Verb problem
refuse
a
traditional drugs to heal theirself Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
due to
cheaper prices as a result
their condition become
worse than before.
Change the verb form
becomes
Secondly
, individuals also
consider about
their risk since Change preposition
apply
that
there is the Correct word choice
apply
availabilty
of Correct your spelling
availability
health
insurances
. Fix the agreement mistake
insurance
Health
insurances
are important document to avoid unexpected happens Fix the agreement mistake
insurance
on
their Change preposition
to
health
condition. This
letter can be claimed by requirements such
as what
the reason Correct pronoun usage
apply
of
diseases and other data. Assume that if Change preposition
for
human
obtains Correct article usage
a human
treatments
by
Change preposition
from
random
Correct article usage
a random
practitioner
Fix the agreement mistake
practitioners
then
Correct word choice
and then
failed
, which one Wrong verb form
fails
that
can be the reason for Correct pronoun usage
apply
claim
Wrong verb form
claiming
insurances
Fix the agreement mistake
insurance
.
Change the punctuation
?
For instance
, in 2023 there was a case of 10 years old child died
in 10 minutes after Correct pronoun usage
who died
uncredible
suster was wrong to bring suitable Correct article usage
an uncredible
treatments
. Thus
, the family become panic
since there Replace the word
panicky
are
no Change the verb form
is
further
responsibility from clinic
. Add an article
the clinic
From
that case, it more safer to get Change preposition
In
proper
doctor than Correct article usage
a proper
random
clinic which Correct article usage
a random
not
Add a missing verb
has not
proven
yet.
In conclusion, the safety and guarantee are the reasons why I choose Add a missing verb
been proven
negative
impact of alternate Add an article
the negative
medication
. People must think thoughtfully before they decide to choose proper
Correct article usage
the proper
medication
.Submitted by damayanti.nsd on
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task achievement
Ensure correct use of English expressions and idioms. Phrases like 'sum of folks' need correction to a more natural 'number of people'.
coherence cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences for each paragraph. For example, rephrase the first point to: 'Firstly, alternative medicines and treatments can pose serious safety risks.'
coherence cohesion
Improve grammar accuracy. Some sentences are hard to follow due to grammatical mistakes and incorrect word usage. For example, 'Since the formulation not suits with patience problems' should be 'Since the formulation does not suit the patient’s problems'.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You have identified key reasons why you believe this is a negative development, such as safety concerns and issues with health insurance claims.