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Band 4.5

INCREASING THE PRICE OF PETROL IS THE BEST WAY TO SOLVE THE GROWING TRAFFIC AND POLLUTION PROBLEM To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

#price #petrol #traffic #pollution #measures
Due to
 the revolution of
automobile
Correct article usage
the automobile
show examples
industry
Add a comma
industry,
show examples
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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people are using private
vehicles
,
hence
 the
traffic
 crisis and environmental impacts are soaring daily, especially in urban areas. There is a good solution to eradicate
this
 by escalating the
cost
 of
fuel
. I strongly disagree with
this
 statement by giving the
below mentioned
Add a hyphen
below-mentioned
show examples
 points.
Initially
, most of the individuals have
Change the word
their
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an
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 own
vehicle
 at
present
Add an article
the present
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 ambience.
Moreover
, government banks and
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 private
vehicle
 dealers are offering
lot
Change the article
a lot
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 of
vehicle
loan
Fix the agreement mistake
loans
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 to
enthrall
Change the spelling
enthral
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 customers to buy a
vehicle
.
Thus
, consumers who are deploying private
vehicles
 have increased abundantly.
Therefore
,
traffic
Correct article usage
the traffic
show examples
 crisis has increased drastically.
In addition
, to eliminate
this
 issue, if the
fuel
cost
 has increased it will directly affect the public, because the
fuel
cost
 is the deciding factor of the country’s economy and there might be a chance for increasing the
cost
 of
other important thing
Change the wording
another important thing
other important things
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 which are required for people. To illustrate, in my country the oil price
is varying
Wrong verb form
varies
show examples
 frequently,
due
Correct word choice
and due
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 to
this
 the other products
such
 as groceries, vegetables and medicines prices are increasing and
this
 will create more financial burden
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
.
Furthermore
, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 a lot of ways to avoid
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic
 and environmental pollution. Better government put a special tax
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 private
vehicles
Change the noun form
vehicle
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 owners and encourage the public to use public transport.
In addition
,
pollution
Correct article usage
the pollution
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 control board and transport department will conduct a regular inspection
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
vehicles
 and put
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
severe penalty, which has not
maintained
Wrong verb form
maintaining
show examples
 properly.
To conclude
,
traffic
 crisis and environmental pollution must be reduced
then
 only the country will become a good shape.
For that
Change preposition
That
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fuel
 increasing
fuel
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
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 is not fair and it will affect the people who are
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
below
poverty
Correct article usage
the poverty
show examples
 line.
Submitted by smsundaram57 on

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Improvement
Pay closer attention to grammatical rules and ensure that sentences are well-structured. This will help improve the clarity of your ideas.
Improvement
Make your introduction and conclusion stronger by clearly stating your stance at the beginning and summarizing key points effectively in the conclusion.
Strength
You have provided a clear stance on the issue and supported it with relevant reasons, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
Strength
The essay presents several solutions to the problem, demonstrating comprehensive consideration of the issue from multiple angles.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Discourage
  • Incentivize
  • Alternative energy
  • Public transportation
  • Lower-income
  • Carpool
  • Ride-sharing
  • Congestion
  • Urban planning
  • Pedestrian-friendly
  • Tax incentives
  • Electric and hybrid vehicles
  • Emissions standards
  • Cleaner vehicles
  • Congestion charges
  • Bicycle lanes
  • Sustainable
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