IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in oder to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both of these views and give your opinion.

#people #reason #language #oder #travel #work #country #someone
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Some people say that the cause of them getting taught a new
language
 other than their mother
language
 is
for studying
Change preposition
to study
show examples
 abroad or for
travel
 reasons. And in
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I'm going to give a
reveiw
Correct your spelling
review
 about both studying and
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 and
also
 I'm giving my
opinion
. Learning a new
language
 in
order
 to work is an
increidable
Correct your spelling
incredible
 way of learning a new
language
, it will give you so many opportunities if you write it on your resume.
In addition
 to that, if the company you are working at have a new client who speaks the new
language
 that you learned, it will make you special in the eyes of others and you might
also
 get a promotion because of that. Meanwhile, if
your
Change the pronoun
you
show examples
learned
Wrong verb form
are learning
show examples
 a new
language
 because you're going to
travel
, I find that very interesting and amusing, I remember one time I went to
Turkiey
Correct your spelling
Turkey
, I was the only member of my family who
knows
Wrong verb form
knew
show examples
 how to speak
turkish
Change the capitalization
Turkish
show examples
,
I
Correct word choice
and I
show examples
got so many discounts from
turkish
Change the capitalization
Turkish
show examples
 people and they treated me so
nicley
Correct your spelling
nicely
 because I knew their
langauge
Correct your spelling
language
, many
foriegn
Correct your spelling
foreign
 countries might get mad at you if you tried to speak to them in your
language
 and not in theirs. So, I find it helpful if you
learned
Wrong verb form
learn
show examples
 to speak in another
langauge
Correct your spelling
language
 in
order
 to
travel
. In my honest
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 both reasons will get you to learn the
language
 you want to.
However
, if a
humanbeing
Correct your spelling
human being
 wanted to try learning a new
language
 only for these two reasons, they might get bored very easily. We can learn a new
language
 even for fun, we can learn the basics,
such
 as saying hello, good morning, goodbye, or how to
order
 in a
resturant
Correct your spelling
restaurant
. The easiest way to do that in my
opinion
 is to watch movies or series with the
language
 you want to learn. It will give you so
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
vocuabulary
Correct your spelling
vocabulary
 and it
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 be fun. In conclusion, learning a new
langauge
Correct your spelling
language
 in
order
 to
travel
 or to study is a valid reason in my
opinion
.
Although
, if you want to make
more
Correct pronoun usage
it more
show examples
 enjoyable and less boring, you can download a program online and learn from it or watch series and movies.
Submitted by a-l-a-a-11 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between paragraphs. Using connector phrases and transition words can help ensure that the essay reads smoothly from one point to the next. Additionally, avoid grammatical errors to not disrupt the flow.
Task Achievement
Your essay slightly exceeds the basic requirements, but make sure the examples remain highly relevant to the points being made. Elaborate more on how learning a language for fun can be beneficial.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay starts with a clear introduction and provides a conclusion that ties the main points together.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the topic and gives a personal opinion, fulfilling the task's requirements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
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