Some students prefer to take a gap year between high school and university, to work or to travel. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Traditionally, high
school
seniors will either pursue college or enter the workforce after their graduation.
However
, these days, a third option -
gap
year
, where
students
defer several benefits to
students
, I believe that the negative influences of
this
growing development are more glaring. On the one hand, delaying tertiary education for one
year
is advantageous to a certain extent.
First,
gap
Correct article usage
a gap
show examples
year
affords new graduates time to travel and immerse themselves in alien cultures, which helps them enrich their life experiences and hone practical skills.
For example
, when living abroad,
students
will have to adapt quickly to their independent
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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and pick up new foreign languages.
Second,
given that most high schools provide inadequate career guidance,
sparing
Verb problem
spending
show examples
several months looking for job opportunities or attending vocational training courses will empower
students
to identify a suitable career path.
Such
experiences would be hardly attainable if high
school
graduates immediately
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
in university and become occupied with their intense study schedules
On the other hand
, I am convinced that the aforementioned advantages pale in comparison with the significant disadvantages of having a
year-ling
Correct your spelling
year-long
show examples
break prior to embarking on higher education. A major drawback is that
gap
-
year
taker
Fix the agreement mistake
takers
show examples
may fall behind in their study
as well as
facing peer pressure, which could possibly drain their self-confidence.
In addition
to
this
, high
school
seniors can lose momentum, finding it hard to resume their education after a long time
being
Change preposition
of being
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distracted from formal schooling.
Last
but not least, those young people are unlikely to save up a lot of money or cultivate relevant job skills during their
gap
year
, which can be attributed to the fact that the
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
available to high
school
leavers are mainly entry-level ones that are neither pay well nor teach them anything substantive. In conclusion,
while
taking a
gap
year
is not without certain benefits, I would contend that the given disadvantages do not make it a worthwhile path.
Submitted by kkhanhnhitr0801 on

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task achievement
The essay does a good job in presenting both the advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year. However, make sure to consistently provide specific and clear examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each part of your essay is well-structured. Try to avoid awkward phrasing and grammatical errors that may interrupt the flow.
coherence cohesion
Work on making your introduction and conclusion more impactful. This can help to better present your arguments and restate your opinion more clearly and convincingly.
task achievement
The essay covers all points of the task prompt, clearly discussing the advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical, with clear paragraphs for each main point.
coherence cohesion
The use of examples and explanations to support the main points is commendable.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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