Detailed description of crimes on newspaper and TV can have bad consequences on society, so this kind of information should be restricted on media. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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It is believed that streaming illegal activities

such

Linking Words

as robbery on television and in a newspaper can mislead the people.

As a result

Linking Words

, the government should cease

such

Linking Words

programs’s broadcasting. I totally agree with the given statement and

this

Linking Words

essay will shed light on valid reasons for that.

Firstly

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, a complete demonstration of the master plan of law-breaking events can be dangerous.

In other words

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, movies about hijacking and theft can provide crooks with a brain wave for their next planning.

For instance

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, in India, a few murders were done in the same manner that was shown on a popular show called 'Crime Petrol', the media had claimed that robbers deliberately mimicked to point out the government. Unfortunately, millions of people in India are watching

such

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content just for entertainment.

Moreover

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, crime-based films can create a fearful atmosphere in the country. By that it means, parents can assume the outside world is dangerous for their kids and might prohibit their education. If

this

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is the case,

then

Linking Words

students would be at a disadvantage.

For example

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, recent trending news in" Times of India" says that there is a drastic decline in the registration of female candidates in colleges in Uttar Pradesh after increment of 15% rape cases in the

last

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two years.

To conclude

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, it is indeed true that everything has its own pros and cons, but in

this

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particular scenario, the disadvantages have outweighed the advantages. As far as I know,

such

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shows have been originated for awareness.

However

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, for me, it is indispensable that people take advantage inappropriately.

pateldhruvi038Sat Jun 22 2024

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task achievement

Consider elaborating more on each main point to provide an even deeper analysis. This can strengthen your argument and make your essay more compelling.

coherence and cohesion

While the essay is generally coherent, you could use more transitional phrases to guide the reader smoothly from one idea to the next. Phrases like 'in addition,' 'moreover,' and 'consequently' can help maintain a logical flow.

introduction and conclusion

The introduction clearly states your position and provides a brief overview of what will be discussed, which sets a clear direction for the essay.

supported main points

Each paragraph presents a distinct point, and these points are generally well-supported with relevant examples, making the essay convincing.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

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