Nowadays, many people have to work longer time, and they feel more stressful than before. What are the reasons? What can employers do to make their life easier?

Stress
has become an integral part of our lives. In
this
high-paced modern
life
, many people experience more
work related
Add a hyphen
work-related
show examples
stress
than in the past.
Following
Correct article usage
The following
show examples
paragraphs will discuss the reasons for
this
stressful
life
and what
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employers
can do to reduce it.
Firstly
,
employees
have to
work
for more hours at their workplaces to meet deadlines and that causes them to run their
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
and
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
beyond their
limit
Fix the agreement mistake
limits
show examples
. Doing repetitive activities daily for longer hours
push
Correct subject-verb agreement
pushes
show examples
employees
to the brink of exhaustion.
Moreover
, extended hours at
work
results
Correct subject-verb agreement
result
show examples
in less time to spend with the family
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
in turn, results in strained relationships adding to the already existing
stress
.
Secondly
, most of the people do not get compensated enough for the hard
work
they do.
This
results in less motivation among them to put effort into their
work
and resultingly, their efficiency goes down.
As a result
, their employer becomes unsatisfied with their
work
and the employee starts to get more stressed because of not meeting their senior's expectations.
Lastly
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
of people these days
work
in a job that they don't like at all.
This
leads to them not enjoying their
work
and only doing it for the sake of money.
As a result
, after
sometime
Replace the word
some time
show examples
, the employee starts questioning
to
Change preposition
apply
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himself, as to why he is doing
this
work
.
This
realisation can lead him to a more stressful
life
and even depression. To solve
this
crisis,
employers
can undertake several measures.
Firstly
, they can create a compensation structure
that is
justified for the
work
that
employees
do.
Secondly
, they can provide amenities like
gym
Correct article usage
a gym
show examples
, which can be used by the
employees
before or after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work
. Engaging in physical activities will reduce their
stress
a lot.
Lastly
,
the
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apply
show examples
employers
can organise yoga or meditation sessions as they are proven to be
stress
busters.
To conclude
, it can be said that
stress
will always be a part of our
life
but it can be greatly reduced if the
employers
take necessary steps to make employee's
life
easier
Submitted by komalverma271999 on

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task achievement
The essay discusses several reasons behind increased work-related stress and offers potential solutions employers can implement. However, it could benefit from more concrete examples and evidence to support the points made. Consider integrating a few real-life scenarios or statistics to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Transitions between points are clear, but some sections can be made smoother with better connectors. For instance, words like 'furthermore' or 'consequently' can help in logically linking ideas. Ensure that each paragraph flows naturally into the next.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, giving it a complete structure. However, the conclusion could be slightly more robust by summarizing the key points discussed in the body paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with a well-defined introduction and conclusion, and the main points are logically laid out in separate paragraphs.
task achievement
The topic is comprehensively addressed with several reasons for increased stress and practical solutions for employers to consider.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • comfortable lifestyle
  • make ends meet
  • culture of 'presenteeism'
  • job insecurity
  • technological advancements
  • constant connectivity
  • globalization
  • irregular work hours
  • flexible working schedules
  • work-life balance
  • employee training and development
  • productivity
  • efficiency
  • healthier work environment
  • mental health resources
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