THE CHARTS SHOW THE PERCENTAGE OF PEOPLE WORKING INDIFFERENT SECTORS IN TOWNS A AND B IN TWO YEARS, 1960 AND 2010

#show #percentage #people #sectors #towns #b #two #years

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The pie charts illustrate the proportion of residents working in separate sectors in towns A and B from 1960 to 2010.

Overall

Linking Words

it is clear that

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the percentage of individuals labouring in manufacturing and

sales

Use synonyms

town

Use synonyms

A decreased

while

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the figure for services increased.

Additionally

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town

Use synonyms

B witnessed a drop in the rate of people working in manufacturing but the figure for services and

sales

Use synonyms

grew.

To begin

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town

Use synonyms

A witnessed 29% of the workforce working in manufacturing in 1960, after that, it grew significantly to 64% in 2010

whereas

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the proportion of labour working in

sales

Use synonyms

and manufacturing experienced significant declines from 30% and 41% in 1960 to 16% and 20% in 2010, respectively.

On the other hand

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, the proportion of people labouring in manufacturing in

town

Use synonyms

B fell from 70% in 1960 to 58% in 2010;

however

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, the figure for labour working in

sales

Use synonyms

and services climbed from 20% and 10% in 1960 to 22% and 25% in 2011, respectively.

Submitted by writingeilts on Sun Jun 23 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, town with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

163 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

dominant sector
proportion
employment sectors
distribution
shifts
trends
growth
decline
main sector
50-year period
comparison focus
analyze
summarize
changes
increase
decrease
evolution
observed
highlight
underlie

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THE CHARTS SHOW THE PERCENTAGE OF PEOPLE WORKING INDIFFERENT SECTORS IN TOWNS A AND B IN TWO YEARS, 1960 AND 2010

Many people believe that children who grow up with little money are more equipped to deal with the problems life throws at them, in comparison to the kids who are born in wealthy families. This essay aims to substantiate this assertion.

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. Write at least 250 words.

Social media helps people to keep in touch with friends and stay on top of news and events. Do you think the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

Topic: some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play\ with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the children of having a large number of toys?

In many towns and cities, large shopping malls are replacing small local shops. Do you think this is a positive development? Give your reasons and examples.