Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like footbakk, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, such as tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Participating in
sports
gradually turns into a norm for people these days
due to
various health-related influences it offers. A part of the population
claim
Change the verb form
claims
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individual
sports
are more advantageous
due to
the ability to achieve personal growth. Though
this
contention may have some validity, I am of the opinion that
sports
that promote
team
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
work
are genuinely better. It is not complicated to find out the reasons people tend to prefer playing
sports
on their own. Individual
sports
enable attenders to take initiative and be proactive in their moves, rather than depending on other
players
, or the strength of a
team
to reach success.
For example
, swimmers can implement their own tactics and strategies swiftly without the need to announce it to their partners.
This
can be taken a step
further
, especially in situations where the results of the match
is
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are
show examples
unfortunate, individual
sports
players
have no one else to blame other than themselves. It fosters one's ability to reflect on
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
oneself
show examples
,
understand
Correct word choice
and understand
show examples
the mistakes they have made,
instead
of blaming it on external factors.
On the other hand
,
team
sports
cultivate leadership,
team working
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
skills and communication.
Team
sports
pave the way for human interactives and discussions to take place
,
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apply
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since
team
members need to
work
closely together and understand the tactics usually played by others, all of which are essential factors of a well-played match. A weaker player in terms of stamina can be covered up by other
players
who have innate strength, and by that, the former can showcase their flexibility or pace that
outweigh
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweighs
show examples
the opponents. If it had not been for cooperation and
team-working
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
, perhaps Messi or Ronaldo would not be these outstanding footballers with countless prizes as they are today.
Additionally
, the more the merrier,
team
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
work
really
set
Wrong verb form
sets
show examples
the soul for a sport where the
players
have a chance to collaborate and
work
with the help of others. In conclusion, the choice to choose which type of exercises to take part in totally
lie
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lies
show examples
with each individual and their preferences. As long as it is intriguing and
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
show examples
an
Change the article
a
show examples
pivotal role in fostering health, any sport is worthy and beneficial.
Submitted by hoanganhnguyen17112007 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider using more varied transition words and phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Ensure that your arguments are more balanced. While you supported both views, the supporting points for individual sports could be emphasized more to give a balanced discussion.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps the reader understand your position and summary effectively.
relevant specific examples
You have provided specific examples, such as referencing Messi and Ronaldo, which helps make your argument more compelling.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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